Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Worth of Enduring

“It is worth it to endure all things for the sake of hearing the gospel.”


When I heard the words spoken out loud my soul resonated them as truth. And not only hearing the gospel, but knowing the gospel: The good news of a Savior who died for His elect, an atoning sacrifice before a Holy God, Jesus' precious blood poured out to cover disgusting sins that He never committed, all to reveal greater the glory of our Creator.


A few days later, after grappling continually with grief, those words came back to my tired mind again as I lay in bed wafting between living victoriously in the promises of Christ, or wallowing in pitiful sorrow for another day.


There are times when the rising of strength can almost be measured when the Word of God is remembered. Twenty months after Trent's accident, I have easily assigned heaven and being in the presence of God's glory as second choice to having my son here. It has become harder to conjure up the excitement of what he must be experiencing due to my own pain in what I am experiencing. I have forgotten the worth of the gospel. I have allowed my thoughts, like Eve did (Genesis 3), to rule.


But, if “it is worth it to endure all things for the sake of {knowing} the gospel,” then what a privilege it is to wake up every single day to knowing that my son will not be opening my bedroom door to come in and snuggle. What a privilege to cry every tear. What a privilege to want to battle with my heart for God's truth. Every day, every moment nearly, deciding who will reign.


I sometimes tend to think that I deserve better from my King. I have been spoon fed the same lie that most of us have been told: that the children of God won't/shouldn't suffer, that only what is seen should be considered, that eternity may not be such a long time, that God's glory may not be so glorious or His holy standards so holy. But had I read without my own version of interpreting the Scripture, I would hold unswervingly to embracing and enduring pain, knowing that every infinitesimal detail was from the hand of a Sovereign God; all for His glory, and somehow my joy (Romans 5:1-5). My heart would wholly be as the Samaritan woman's heart, who took even insult from her Savior, and saw the worth of begging for the crumbs, as a dog, in order to know Him (Matthew 15:22-28).


Jesus didn't tend to plead with people to know Him, He actually seemed to do the opposite (John 6:53-38). He warned people to count the cost before even considering following Him (Luke 14:25-35). He warned about the crosses to come; the crosses that would prove our allegiance (Luke 9:23-24). The Kingdom is not free for the taking, it is a Kingdom to be conquered, and it starts in our hearts. Our wicked, deceitful hearts that long for their own way rather than those of God (Jeremiah 17:9). Our hearts that demand our own comfort rather than discipline and submission, our hearts that trade truth as found in God's Word for pride, for ease, for what's on sale at WalMart.


So I sell my fields, as it were, for the greater treasure (Matthew 13:44). I lay aside my longings for my son, for God's Son. As Paul says, I count everything as loss for the sake of knowing Jesus (Philippians 3:7-11). If pain reveals my heart, and pride shows that sin really hasn't been done away with no matter how hard I try to cover it up, and shame puts me back on my knees, and my short temper causes regrets, and my un-gracefilled life finds me begging again for salvation as found only through Jesus, then it is worth it to endure all things for the sake of knowing the gospel. I continue to put myself where the gospel can be heard, enduring the temporal cost, for the eternal value.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

A Hot Chocolate Morning

It's a hot chocolate morning. The air is nippy enough to need extra quilts on the beds now, and when I couldn't stand it any longer this morning, I hiked down the basement steps and started the wood stove. Cole even shortened his daily run and only made it to the end of the driveway, cat and dog trailing behind him, commenting when he came in that it was too cold to go any further. Had I been quick enough I would have snapped a picture of the sunrise beaming behind him on his way back up, but the recliner felt too good to move that fast. He sat down at the dining room table with his cup and plunged back into his school work, hoping to finish early so he could be free for the afternoon.

Even hot chocolate hurts. Somehow, it's easier to pour only four cups now, but never without that familiar dull ache that begins around my heart and threatens to overflow in tears. That ache is lighter this morning after being on my knees before God. Today, I was able to remember the promises and look forward to eternity; the bearing of my cross seeming to have some purpose.

My mind refuses to rest, but words have been sparse lately. I tell myself that I will sit down and force them out, but then so often only find myself staring at a blank computer screen. I long for the flow again.

I have been pondering eternity, salvation, suffering, relationships, soap, the great outdoors, and how to live without investing my life here but rather for an inheritance in heaven. I haven't quite figured it all out. I've been wondering if Trent has gotten over the awe of being in heaven yet. As I continue to praise God daily that he is there, it dawned on me that he is there. If my praise has continued for nineteen months, what must his be like?

An amazing conversation happened around our kitchen island the other day when the kids and I were trapped with nowhere to escape because we where elbow deep in pumpkin guts. We started talking about what it might have been like for Trent that afternoon as he went down that slope and saw his first glimpse of Jesus. I nearly held my breath as I heard the work that God has been doing in these little souls that surround me; work that I was unaware of. We live our lives side by side, so close and busy together, but so often we neglect to talk about what matters.

I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to see Jesus. Even the thought brings tears and overwhelms me. I feel the insignificance of being allowed in His presence. I feel the slightest sense of His holiness as I think of it. I feel my sin and my need for a Savior.

God did an amazing work by using Trent's death to save my brother in law. For these many months it has been a great joy amidst the sorrow to see his life dramatically transformed. A couple of weeks ago we had the joy of witnessing my sister's whole family being baptized together. Talking a few days after the baptism, Brenda shared the remorse that it took Trent's death to have their eyes opened. I felt the impact like never before of what salvation really cost. Somebody did die, sin was that serious. Jesus died.

Rob read us the story of the crucifixion from the book of Mark at our family devotions last night. I could hardly stand to hear the words. My finite brain can't make suffering equal eternal glory, but Scripture tells us it's so. If anything, perseverance is going to be what gets me. Only by the grace of God do the days marked off on a seemingly never ending calendar make sense without my son. I used to be so content in this world: goats, food, sunshine, WalMart. Now only what is done for Christ matters. For this pain I try to remember to praise God, too: for nothing satisfying other than Him, for living eternally minded rather than for here.

This concept has been popping up everywhere: suffering equaling eternal glory. James baffles me when he says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) He tells us in the next verse to ask God for wisdom. So I asked.

“Is suffering worth it?” My Bible notes inquire about the age old question to myself again and again.

God's answer to me on that sunny morning nearly a month ago came from 2 Thessalonians 1:11 and 1 Timothy 1:12-18. Sweet promises made personal.

“Suffering causes {me} to be counted worthy of God's calling- it is only endured by God's power- ultimately so that Jesus will be glorified in me, and me in Him according to the grace of God. Scripture says that God appointed {me} to His service. He gives strength. He considered {me} faithful, even though I am a sinner, the greatest of all sinners as Paul says, all by the grace of God that is poured out abundantly. I need to PERSEVERE because through suffering God is revealing His mercy and His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life. All for the honor and glory of God for ever and ever. Fight the good fight.”

Jesus' glory on this earth was the cross. He told us that as His followers we would be given crosses to carry. Heavy, splintered, bloody crosses. Burdens and yokes that would be impossible to endure aside from His grace. A constant reminder that this is not our home, a reminder of our longing for an eternal home. Somehow those crosses work to crush us, the sinful flesh part of us, and allow Jesus alone to shine through. The weight of those crosses seems to be what shatters anything in us that has no godly value and reveals our allegiance to our God, or His to us. They reveal more than we want them to, and make us go deep.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” (James 1:12)

Suffering, a crown, eternal glory, and a Savior worth trusting. Somehow it makes sense, even when I can't seem to make it make sense.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Bible Study ~ Purity

PURITY IN HEART


*Who is {it} about? Us or God?
All Scripture ultimately points back to Jesus. Although it is beneficial to examine our lives in light of Scripture, our study of it should constantly cause us to stand in awe of this amazing God and the fact that He allows sinners to draw near to Him.

*What does purity mean? Examples of purity?(Bride, gold, water)

Definition: to be free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind. To be clear, or free, from blemishes.

*If God alone is pure/holy (holy: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness-Lev. 11:44a), and mankind is sinful (Romans 3:23), then how does God allow us to come into His presence?

Since the Old Testament speculated that the people would sin and therefor be unclean, the purification rituals furnished a way to return to cleanness. The priests and Levites purified themselves first, then the people, and then the city gates and the wall. By doing this, they were prepared for worship. We read in Nehemiah 12:30," Then the priests and Levites purified themselves, the people, the gates, and the wall." The altar for sacrifice and the objects used in the tabernacle were purified so they would be prepared for worship. The last aspect of their sacrificial ritual was the sacrifice itself.

Because of sin, a cleansing agent was required: water, blood, or fire in the Old Testament. The Old Testament was for our learning. In the New Testament, our cleansing is complete through Jesus' death on the cross, which was a final, fulfilling sacrifice for sin. In Mark 16:16," He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. "
*Think about it:
God is the absolute example of purity, and to fellowship with Him we must be pure. The eyes of the Lord are too pure to look upon evil. God expects ethical purity, and sin results in uncleanness. Our Lord God has no part with sin. God is our light in the world. When we turn off the lights, there is darkness. Without God in our lives, we are living in darkness, which is a sinful life. Habakkuk 1:13a," You are of purer eyes than to behold evil and cannot look on wickedness." We are only seen as pure and forgiven when God sees us through the salvation of His Son, Jesus Christ's, death on the cross. Being seen as pure, or not pure, has eternal consequences.


Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Matthew 5:8 (NKJV)

Verses about purity:

2 Samuel 2:27; Psalm 24; Psalm 51; Psalm 119:9-16; Proverbs 20:9; 1 John 3:1-10

In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor. Ephesians 1:7


Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Bible Study~ Purity

PURITY IN HEART

*Who is {it} about? Us or God?
All Scripture ultimately points back to Jesus. Although it is beneficial to examine our lives in light of Scripture, our study of it should constantly cause us to stand in awe of this amazing God and the fact that He allows sinners to draw near to Him.

*What does purity mean? Examples of purity? (Bride, gold, water)

Definition: to be free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind. To be clear, or free, from blemishes.

*If God alone is pure/holy (holy: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness-Lev. 11:44a), and mankind is sinful (Romans 3:23), then how does God allow us to come into His presence?

Since the Old Testament speculated that the people would sin and therefor be unclean, the purification rituals furnished a way to return to cleanness. The priests and Levites purified themselves first, then the people, and then the city gates and the wall. By doing this, they were prepared for worship. We read in Nehemiah 12:30," Then the priests and Levites purified themselves, the people, the gates, and the wall." The altar for sacrifice and the objects used in the tabernacle were purified so they would be prepared for worship. The last aspect of their sacrificial ritual was the sacrifice itself.

Because of sin, a cleansing agent was required: water, blood, or fire in the Old Testament. The Old Testament was for our learning. In the New Testament, our cleansing is complete through Jesus' death on the cross, which was a final, fulfilling sacrifice for sin. In Mark 16:16, "He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned."

 
*Think about it:
God is the absolute example of purity, and to fellowship with Him we must be pure. The eyes of the Lord are too pure to look upon evil. God expects ethical purity, and sin results in uncleanness. Our Lord God has no part with sin. God is our light in the world. When we turn off the lights, there is darkness. Without God in our lives, we are living in darkness, which is a sinful life. Habakkuk 1:13a," You are of purer eyes than to behold evil and cannot look on wickedness." We are only seen as pure and forgiven when God sees us through the salvation of His Son, Jesus Christ's, death on the cross. Being seen as pure, or not pure, has eternal consequences.


Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Matthew 5:8 (NKJV)

Verses about purity:

2 Samuel 2:27; Psalm 24; Psalm 51; Psalm 119:9-16; Proverbs 20:9; 1 John 3:1-10

In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor. Ephesians 1:7


Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/