March 2, 2011
I have found myself missing Trent so much the last couple of days. I miss his smile. I miss how he came up and rubbed my lower back with his fist. I miss how he was always there as my protector, whether I was talking with somebody or just trying to do something, he sensed it and was right there. I miss how he crawled in bed and snuggled in the morning. I miss how he always said goodnight, love you. I miss seeing him laying in his bed, waiting for his blessing, asking to snuggle. I miss how he always wanted to stay up late to watch Star Wars, and especially wanted me to stay up late with him. I miss how he loved to cook and was always whipping up something extra special, even if I didn't always like the extra seasonings or the wild game of the day. I miss his help in the barn, how he jumped in to do the heavy work. I miss him being here when the goats are born. I miss not seeing him roam the woods. I miss not seeing him ride his bike, or the 4-wheeler, or the snowmobile, or the short horses. I miss his giggle. I miss him not being here to clean the kitchen or do the dishes on Monday. I miss how he hated schoolwork and would only work hard on it so he could earn computer time or go outside. I miss his Bible questions. I miss his spiky hair-do and his long Ken-doll locks. I miss how he would be forced to shower only to have to go back and wash his hair in the sink because he "forgot" to wash it in the shower. I miss his long fingernails that he hated to trim. I miss all the holy shirts that he chose to wear over anything nice. I miss him coming down the steps in the morning in his PJ's. I miss him fighting with his brothers and sisters. I miss him talking with Lexi at night after he was supposed to be tucked in bed. I miss his horrible printing and spelling. I miss him teasing me about wearing his socks. I miss him running down to the barn in his underwear with Cole because they wanted to beat the guys in 8 Below. I miss him taking pictures. I miss him having fun with Thomas and Samuel. I miss him working for Russell and asking for a raise. I miss him looking at his hunting magazines and browsing the bait and tackle rows at Walmart. I miss him playing football and working so hard for his coaches. I just plain old miss him and eternity is seeming farther away. But I know where he is, and I still wouldn't want him back for a day. Lord, haste the day that I see my son again~ be my comforter as you promised to be. I do trust you in this and love that your ways are perfect.