March 17, 2011 Our society does not know what to do with death. Even as Christians we do not always know what to do with death. The topic scares us. The shell of the dead body scares us. The afterlife scares us. It is much easier to not discuss the matter so that life can just go on like it always has. Death of an elderly person is acceptable enough, but the death of a twelve year old boy is another matter.
In planning Trent's funeral God gave us the clarity to make tough decisions that we would have never dreamt of making. Trent died on a Friday afternoon. On Sunday afternoon we were sitting in the funeral directors office trying to answer questions about how many people we expected to attend (ummm, none, we weren't planning a funeral this week, thanks) and what picture we wanted to use for his memorial card. It was like preparing for a wedding in a week. Which songs do you want that will honor your sons life and the God who ordained this all and what color of casket would you like? How many death certificates do you think you will need and would you like to order Thank You cards? Yes, No, Maybe, I really don't know. Can we send you the check or do you need it before we can pick up our sons ashes? Somehow, in those two days (really 2 sleepless nights, one day full of company, half a day of church, and a quiet half hour in bed to actually talk about it) God guided us through all of the decisions with clarity.
The only music I really like is Johnny Cash or old hymns. Johnny Cash is not exactly funeral music, so when Alexis suggested "Praise you in this Storm" I had to look up the words. Perfect. So perfect. On the way home from Duluth after the accident we had talked about and tried to sing "It is Well With my Soul" (and mine and Traci's rendition on Saturday wasn't too bad either) so that was also an easy pick. Getting ready for church on Sunday Alexis asked "Mom, can I turn up the radio?" (we have an ongoing battle over the radio volume in our house). I said sure~ and the song "Better is One Day in Your Courts" was blasting. Perfect again.
It was our desire that the gospel be preached, and preached again. We have two church families so we asked both of our pastors to preach, Doug and our youth group pastor, Jerry (who is also a good friend and came with us to the hospital). Pretty much everything about the funeral was non-traditional. We chose to have no viewing the night before. I have been to too many viewings where people are crying and sad and it is exhausting for the loved ones left behind. We chose to have a private viewing for our family at 2:00, followed by a closed viewing at 2:30 for the extended family, then open viewing and seating at 3:00, the funeral at 4:00, followed by supper and viewing until 8:00. We wanted to be able to have the gospel preached first, then those who were saved could come and rejoice with us that Trent was in heaven. Those who were not saved would be faced with the reality of death. It was our desire to minister to people on every level possible~ hearing the word, singing and worshipping, reading the word (Trent's story went out in every bulletin), seeing us as well as Trent's body, along with being physically fed, and being held and hugged by us as needed.
As you will notice in most of the pictures there was alot of smiling that day. Of course there were alot of tears as well, but it was overall a day of rejoicing in God and His ways. We were overwhelmed to find out later that over 400 people attended. Imagine what God did in 400 lives that day! For my own sake I need to record the day in words and pictures, and I hope God moves in your life through it.
If you know me at all you know that the odds of me being late to my own son's funeral are pretty good. Yes, you who know me personally are chuckling, so you can understand why we planned to be at the church a whole hour earlier than we were supposed to be. The girls wanted me to curl their hair fancy so after showers and putting on our new outfits I curled and hairsprayed their hair. The boys, too, have been in a hairspray-mode in honor of Trent so they also got their hair all fancied up.
We headed up to the church in the truck because the brakes had started to go out of the van on the way home from the hospital on Friday night (aahh, yes, this is a fallen world which doesn't even stop to let you bury your son). I was doing allright until we pulled into the church parking lot and saw the hearse. I was actually glad to see the hearse parked because since it was parked meant that they were all set up. In my mind I could handle them being set up, but not unloading the casket. When we are weak, God is strong. He empowered us to walk through those church doors and promised to be with us for it all. The anticipation for this celebration was so high in our family. We were so ready to publicly worship God for bringing Trent home to heaven and to share what He had been doing in our lives. Jerry and Ashlee greeted us with a hug and then we chatted and finished a few last minute preparations. We talked with the funeral director a couple of minutes and they let us know that they were ready for us to come in for our private viewing time.
Our family, and Jerry and Ashlee, all joined hands in a circle and spent time in prayer before we stepped foot into the sanctuary. Everyone of us knew that it had only been the grace of God that had brought us this far, and considering what was to come (even just being able to walk into the sanctuary to see Trent's body again) we could only do the rest by His grace. We acknowledged God's goodness in His perfect plan yet again and asked Him for salvation for many that would hear the gospel that day. Knowing that God would lead us, we smiled and walked into the sanctuary to see Trent in the coffin for the first time.
It is strange how our bodies change so quickly after death. The boy whom God had formed inside my own body, whom I had often carried and tenderly nurtured with my own body, hugged and kissed and snuggled and loved in his flesh was no longer in that flesh. The cold, hard body in that casket resembled my son, but the spirit who was Trent had been gone for nearly a week. The apostle Paul was right in calling these bodies mere shells. When the Lord calls me home I will be more than ready to be rid of mine. After realizing how true God's word was in this as well (that we are mortal creatures and will leave these bodies behind) we could rejoice again that Trent was in heaven.
Jerry and Ashlee stayed as close as we wanted them to (which was close) and honored our last private moments with Trent by being with us. Just as God sent Aaron and Hur to hold up Moses' arms that the battle may be won, God sent people to hold up our arms during this battle. Jerry and Ashlee were two of the many that God sent, which we will forever be grateful for them.
Trent was never a fancy dresser so we chose a simple outfit. We were able to donate his bone marrow from his arms so we needed a long sleeve shirt. He always looked so handsome in his maroon "church" shirt so we chose that along with a simple pair of khaki dress pants. To be true to who he was as a young boy we also chose no socks and his high camouflage rubber boots, along with camouflage boxers. Just the way we think he would have wanted to be dressed at his funeral.
At the prior meeting to set up the funeral the director had shown us pictures of fancy, spancy caskets with ruffles and silk and polished chrome to choose from. Rob and I just looked at each other across the table and Rob asked if they had a pine box. That must have been the point that the director figured we had to be in full shock (or else really cheap). Rob continued to share with him that Trent would have built his own casket had he known that he was going to die this week and that neither one of us could picture him in something so floofy and fancy. Well, they figured they had something in the back room and it fit him perfectly (hmmm, what kind of casket would you pick for your funeral~ odd, odd things we never thought we would have to decide). We chose to drape his jean quilt that he had made over the top of the coffin, along with a smiling picture that captured him so well, and his Bible open to the Isaiah 65:17-25 verse that God gave us the afternoon he died.
The next thing I did after seeing him lying there was to go get my hair spray and fix his hair. Yes, he should have had a compassionate mother, but at this point we were so elated to be able to tease him however we wanted to. For years he had worn his hair long in Ken-doll locks we called it. A couple of weeks before the accident he surprised us all and asked Rob to buzz him so that he could spike his hair. The transformation was amazing! He looked like a different kid. When he walked into weight lifting class for the last time Coach Olson came up and introduced himself and wondered who was this new boy~ and he wasn't kidding! I had teased him numerous times about using more hairspray than I did and was going to make him buy his own bottle the next week. So, smiling and laughing, I spiked up his hair and sprayed it down.
Another thing that we did was to ask a friend, Rhonda, to photograph the funeral for us. Because of her we have so many precious memories to remember the day by.
As extended family started to arrive we greeted crying aunts and uncles, pancake eating cousins and giggling girl cousins, grandma's and grandpa's. We invited Russell to attend early because he was more of a grandpa to Trent than anybody (my Dad passed away twenty years ago). My soap opera family has 15 children total and soon several of them started coming in. Somehow Rob stood in as the door man to give the family a bit of privacy, and we ended up being able to greet people prior to the funeral and share our hope and joy with them. One of Cole's first concerns was if his Uncle Dean was saved~ Yep, Cole, he is. I asked him.
The shocked, confused faces that saw us smiling were only more encouragement to share why we were so happy. As from the first people we saw after Trent died, we asked many "where would you be if you had died on Friday?". Not letting them go until they could answer one way or another, encouraging the saved to rejoice with us then because Trent is in heaven, and warning the unsaved that they may not have tomorrow. Settle today what God is calling you to settle.
Fifteen minutes before the service started somebody came to get the family to meet in Jerry's office to pray. Doug was sitting in a chair with a downcast face. I took his face in my hands and said to him "Rejoice with us! Trent is in heaven! What have you taught us the past 15 years? Then rejoice with us!". Jen was also there as she was going to bless us with her beautiful voice and sing a solo. She was so nervous (I can understand why), so we encouraged her as well that if God was faithful with all the rest of the details He would be faithful with her voice as well. We prayed for her to sing beautiful and clearly and above all we prayed for salvation for many that would hear the gospel for the first time.
We walked out of Jerry's office and the dining room was full. The church entry way had been full when we tried to get through to Jerry's office so I had just assumed that they were waiting to get into the sanctuary. Little did I know that the seats were full, it was standing room only, and not only the dining room was full but even the back room was full. We had only called 4 people personally to tell them of Trent's death. The outpouring of our little community has been so overwhelming and such a blessing to our family.
The service started with a welcome and prayer, than Jen sang the song Untitled Hymn by Chris Rice. It is a song that Alexis had sang at church before and it is one of my favorites. The words were so perfect for the day, and Jen's voice was perfect singing it. I could hardly look at her because it was so beautiful and fitting.
Chris Rice - Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus)
Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus Come to Jesus Come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain,
so Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk Sometimes we fall...
so Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain,
then Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus and live!
O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside,
then Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side,
and Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus and live!
Untitled Hymn
After the song Doug preached the gospel message and shared the Isaiah 65:17-25 passage.
New Heavens and a New Earth
17 “See, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
20 “Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.
23 They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the LORD.
We chose to have the whole congregation join in singing worship songs led by the First Baptist Worship team. It was especially an honor that one of the young men who had been helping with Trent's youth group, Seth, played drums with the worship team. Trent had looked up to Seth and enjoyed his time in youth group with him.
Here I am to Worship
Light of the world, you step down into darkness
opened my eyes let me see.
beauty that made this heart adore you
hope of a life spent with you
(chorus) So here i am to worship,
So here i am to bow down,
So here i am to say that you're my God,
you're altogether lovely, altogether worthy,
altogether wonderful to me.
king of all days, oh so highly exalted
Glorious in Heaven above.
Humbly you came to the Earth you created.
All for loves sake be came poor.
(chorus) So here i am to worship,
So here i am to bow down
So here i am to say that you're my God,
you're altogether lovely, altogether worthy,
altogether wonderful to me.
I'll never know how much it cost
to see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
to see my sin upon that cross
Here I am to Worship
Praise You in This Storm words by Mark Hall
I was sure by now, God,
that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again,
I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away.
(Chorus) And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled
in the wind
You heard my cry to
You and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away
(Chorus) I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
Praise You in This Storm
Better is One Day in Your Courts
How lovely is
Your dwelling place
Oh Lord Almighty,
my soul longs
And even faints For You
Oh, here my heart Is satisfied (is satisfied)
Within Your presence
I see beneath
The shadow of
Your wings
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere(Than thousands elsewhere)
One thing I ask, And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You in
The place Your glory dwells
(One thing I ask)One thing I ask
And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You in
The place Your glory dwells
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
(Better is one day)Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
(My heart and flesh cry out)My heart and flesh cry out For You,
the Living God
Your Spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You (To You)
Better is one day Better is one day Better is one day
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere(4X)
Yeah, than thousands elsewhere (Yeah)
Oh, than thousands elsewhere
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/chris_tomlin/#share
Worship was followed by Jerry's sermon, which he was so gracious to share the notes with me. It was the gospel message clearly preached again, seasoned with love, grace, and much hope and rejoicing.
Introductory Comments:When calamities like this come about, what sort of things do you say? Oftentimes, there is nothing to say but to simply weep with those who are weeping. And we—as relatives, friends, grandparents, uncles and aunts (and myself as his Youth Pastor)—all have wept much.But my wife and I were blessed to be with Rob and Terri on Friday night when we went up to see Trent. We have talked with them much since then, and I know that they don’t just want tears. They want hope proclaimed. And they have been proclaiming much hope. So, let me share a couple things that Rob or Terri would share if they were up here right now.
Things That Rob and Terri Would Want Said—
1.) “This was God’s sovereign plan.”
a.) Negatively—Rob and Terri would say that it was not…- Just an accident- A twist of bad fate- An awful coincidence (According to Spirit Mountain, the fatality rate for skiing is 1 in every 1.5 million skiers)- Ultimately a work of the devil
b.) Story of JobSuffering:All of his 10,000+ livestock were either stolen or killed.All 7 sons and 3 daughters were suddenly killedAll but 4 of Job’s servants diedJob was then afflicted with awful boils from his toe to the crown of his head, but was denied the mercy of deathResponse:“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21)Analysis:Was this right of Job to say this?Yes! He got it right! The end of that verse says, “In all this Job did not sin” (Job 1:22)—he didn’t lie! Conclusion:Yes, Satan was the one that incited God. Satan was working. But he was a pawn. Fate, bad luck, and Satan were not sovereign that day. God was sovereign.
c.) Illustration with TrentJust like Job, Rob and Terri have been faithful in recognizing God’s hand in the midst of all of this.Obituary: “On Friday, February 18, 2011, God did the unthinkable in our life—He chose to take our 12-year-old son, Trent, home in a skiing accident.”On the drive up to Duluth: “The Lord gave us 12 good years with our son. And he took him when he thought it would be best.”
2.) “God is working this for their good”Knowing that God is sovereign over this is not good news. But knowing that God is sovereign and good and is working things out for good is incredibly good news.a.) Romans 8:28God’s Word says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Exegesis: Here we have a promise that God is not just in control, but he is also good. In how many things? In “all things.” What is incredible is that Paul—who wrote this passage—is not being naïve. These “all things” include suffering, suffering that makes us “groan in the pains of childbirth” as he earlier says.
So, what Rob and Terri would say to you, if they got the chance, is, with tears streaming down their face, “God is working this out for our good, for we are those who love God.”
b.) What Is This Good?But what is really great about the hope that Rob and Terri have as believers is that their hope isn’t a generic “Well, things-happen-for-a-reason” kind of hope. There are particular, wonderful, glorious things that God has promised that will be for their good.
They are identifying with their Savior. “For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake” (Phil 1:29)
They are being conformed into the image of Jesus through these sufferings (James 1:2-4)
They have the assurance that these afflictions are producing within them an eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17).
This is the way the Christian life works: “Suffering now, glory then.”Paul says that we rejoice in hope of the glory of God, knowing that even suffering produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope (Romans 5). This is NOT a hope that things will work out on earth; this is a hope realized only in heaven. If you have talked to Rob and Terri, you know that their hope in heaven has increased a thousand fold.
And we are assured of all of this because man named Jesus Christ who claimed to be God said he would die a death as a ransom for many. He rose again from the dead. That means that he has defeated sin and death, and those who submit to him and follow him in faith share in his benefits. (Acts 17)
c.) Illustration with Trent
No wonder the first words Terri said to me were, “Rejoice with me, Jerry.”Conclusion: Why? Because she knows that all things—especially the worst of sufferings—is not because God is mad at her or trying to destroy her, but rather these things are remedial. They are like a salve that when it is applied, it stings, but in time it brings life and healing.
3.) “What about you?”The final thing I know that Rob and Terri would both like to say would be, “What about you? If you were to die today and stood before our awesome, holy, perfect God, what would you say?” I know this, because Rob and Terri asked that very question to the police officer and the doctor who broke the news of their son’s death to them.
a.) The Shortness of LifeNothing reminds us of the incredible shortness of life than when a young one suddenly passes away. How many of us have asked the question since last Friday, “What if that was me, or my kids?” The truth is, we do not know when our time will be, but we all know that our time will come. So, let me ask you as directly as Rob and Terri would ask you, “What is your eternal destiny?”
b.) Trent’s Assurance of a Welcoming Saviori.) His WretchednessTrent knew his eternal destiny. But he did not find his assurance by his faithful church attendance or his desire to keep all of God’s laws. Trent did not presume that his goodness was good enough for God, instead what he remarkably did—even as a young man—was realize and acknowledge his desperate, sinful condition before God. One of the first things Terri shared with me after the accident was that it was last summer that Trent sat down at the kitchen table with her and said, “Mom, I know I am not right with God.”
Illus. of Tax Collector: Trent met God on His terms, just like the Tax Collector who would not even look up to heaven but cried out, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”He did not mix God’s grace with his own goodness, instead he came to God with empty hands, pleading for his grace.
ii.) God’s GraceAnd what Trent found that summer afternoon at the kitchen table with his mom was a loving Savior who had died for his sins. He found a God who would not resist or oppose the broken-hearted. He found a God who united him by Trent’s faith with Jesus Christ, so that all the benefits that Jesus won at the cross would be his (adoption as sons, forgiveness of sins, indwelling Holy Spirit, God’s favor upon him, eternal life). He found a Savior with whom he had hope for the future, because this Savior once said, “For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6:40)
That is the hope that Trent had, that he had eternal life and that he would be raised up on the last day by Jesus Christ. Here we see Trent’s body before us—defeated by death—but even now he is enjoying eternal life with his Savior and one day that Savior will say, “Trent, come forth!” And his body will rise from the dust and ashes, never to die again.Illust. with Isaiah 65:17-25—READ
Conclusion: Do you know this hope that Trent knew and that Rob and Terri know? The Bible is very clear that if you despair of your own sinfulness before God and turn from it, throwing yourself upon Jesus for your only hope, you will be embraced by a loving Savior. You will find one who will give you rest from your weight of guilt and sin. You will find one who will lead you like a Good Shepherd. You will find one who will not cast you out. Who is your hope? May we all rest on Jesus, the one who has defeated sin and will one day do away with even the memory of death.
Pray.
*************
At this point I was very surprised to hear Jerry ask Rob to come up to say something. The night before Jerry had asked me how we wanted to end the service. My brain was on overload and I could not come up with anything better than to leave that up to God, too, and that I would trust Jerry to decide what seemed best at the time. Just before the service Rob had talked to Jerry and told him that if he felt led to get up and talk he would give Jerry a thumbs up or thumbs down to let him know.
Rob is not a public speaker, but the gospel message that God proclaimed through him was crystal clear and so beautiful and honoring. If there had been a single dry eye in the church building they would have been crying at this point to see Trent's dad up there praising his God for taking his son to heaven.
To end the service we chose It is Well With my Soul as our final hymn.
When peace, like a river,attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul),
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, (It is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, (It is well)
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul
And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, (It is well)
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Again (thumbs up) Jerry called Rob up to finish the service by praying. Rob led us in prayer then prayed a blessing over the congregation. It is a blessing that he has prayed for the kids for several years, and one that Trent requested every night without fail.
(I will put the blessing here as soon as I clarify the words with Rob)
At the end of the beautiful service we stayed right where we were (we had been sitting at the head of the open casket where the recieving line would come through) and spent the next three and a half hours ministering individually to every person who came through. Afterward Rob and I shared that we each felt led to only focus on the person in front of us, not to worry about rushing the line through or who was next, but to take the time and meet the needs of that individual in front of us. Whether it was asking where would they be, challenging them, encouraging them with scripture, rejoicing with them, dancing with them, my favorite~ tagging Trent so he would be IT forever, crying with them or just hugging them, God poured Himself out through us as we celebrated what He had done and promised to do. There were many tears, and much repentance. We pray that there was also salvation taking place.
Others told us of the people in the line encouraging and ministering to others while waiting, asking "what if it had been you?". We had no idea of the overflowing dining room or that there were so many people that they ran out of food. My good friend Maddie again took care of our physical needs and brought food and drinks (man does not live by bread alone do they my friend~ okay, okay I'll eat the sandwich). We were so honored to be used to share God's word with so many that night.
When the crowd finally thinned (and we could have happily stood there all night ministering by God's strength) we found ourselves surrounding the coffin and laughing. Rob's sister's family and some of the younger girl cousins had gathered around and we got to talking about Trent's rubber boats. The girls thought we were kidding so we lifted up the sheet and bent over to look~ everybody had to come and see. It turned to more laughter as the whole family shared that we were wearing color coded camoflauge underwear (or as close to it as Walmart sells this time of year) as one last final connection as a family. Telling Trent stories brought more laughter, and we all pretty much agreed he was the lucky one and that we would miss him like crazy.
As the sanctuary was finally quieting down I took my last private moments with Trent as his mom. I looked at that handsome face one more time, kissed him on the little mole between his eyebrows, and told him the next time I would kiss him would be in Glory. Then I turned and walked out of the sanctuary, without looking back, determined to trust God until He calls me home.
What a mighty God we serve. Now, just to prove that God does have a sense of humor and he is sovereign~ oh my, God, you are too funny! As we were packing up to leave Grace came running to find me saying his name is Rob Gonya! His name is Rob Gonya! Who Grace? The funeral guy! His name is Rob Gonya! Now to back this all up a few years, somehow the kids got the name of Gonya and whenever they play the bad guy/gal is always Gonya. What are the odds that the funny spelled name on the funeral guys tag would be pronounced Gonya just so one little girl could get excited and we could laugh instead of cry as a finale to our sons funeral? ** To see the post with pictures click here.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Releasing
March 15, 2011
I have never quite had to decide what my thoughts were on cremation before. I guess I never really cared for the idea, but then again, I never did have to make the decision before whether I wanted to have a loved one cremated or buried. To think back over the past three and a half weeks and ponder the decisions we have had to make I can only credit God with the clear understanding of how we were able to make any of them.
Even on the way up to the hospital on Friday Rob and I pretty much had decided that rather than a burial we wanted to go with cremating Trent's body. After seeing his shell at the hospital and knowing there was no soul left made the decision seem easier yet. Thinking over the next couple of days before we had to meet with the funeral director we both agreed that we did not want his body to be left here at some place that he never was for us to feel obligated to go kneel down in front of. It was a very freeing thought to not have his body tied here to this earth where we would be so tempted to leave it attached to this world rather than releasing every part of him to be in heaven where his soul is.
Part of the cremation process is to decide what to do with the ashes. Three years ago we took a trip to Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, MO, for Trent's golden birthday. We had always told him we would take a trip back down there someday. Trent's birthday was on March 10 so as a family we decided to take our last trip with Trent's remains to Springfield, MO, and release his ashes along the way in places that would honor who he was and what he loved.
The first place on the list was Lake Beauty Bible Camp in Long Prairie, MN. Lake Beauty has been a central part of our family for years and years. As a child I attended the youth camps there and as a family we have enjoyed family camps there for over 11 years. Our year was based around going to family camp~ we scheduled our school year to be finished before camp, summer ended and school started again after family camp, money was saved (from family devotion answers that Dad would tally up) and earned to go garage saleing on the way to family camp. They are weekends of total indulgence in enjoying time together as a family while being surrounded by other Christians and eating lots of good food. When Trent was little (4 years old) he was fearless and climbed the tower and jumped down the zip line for the first time on their high ropes course. Many years followed that he continued to enjoy the high ropes courses, along with paintball, swimming, boating, botche ball, carpet ball, night time black-light dodge ball, being first in the food line, friends, speakers, and campfires.
Since so many of our favorite family times have been spent at camp we contacted Brian and asked if we could spend some time with the staff who are like family and release some of Trent's ashes from the top of the tower. I guess there has never been a request made like that before at camp but Brian was happy to entertain us and welcomed us up for the afternoon. It is hard to know if you should be happy to take a trip to camp to release your sons ashes, or be sad, or somewhere in the middle. God chose to give us great joy and excitement as we headed out Tuesday morning.
It was wonderful to pull up at camp and see all the familiar faces we love so much. I wasn't sure (again) if I could get through this one-more-thing without losing it until Kristen walked out of the lodge and gave me a great big hug and told me that she had walked up to the tower that morning and prayed over the place that God would move in a great way that day. Again I was reminded that God's plans are perfect, even in this.
We spent time hugging and sharing with the staff just how good God has been to us. Then we headed up to the tower. The staff got us all harnessed up and we took the inside stairs up to the top. Brian and our family stood on top and had a time of prayer as we again praised God for His good works and again proclaimed our trust in His plans for His children. As with everything else up to this point we offered the kids to choose if they wanted to take part or not. They all chose to release some ashes except for Micah who is so little. To see the ashes the day before was hard. To think about putting my hand in that bag and holding them was harder. But, like everything else, I determined to go straight through it (versus going around, stuffing, side stepping, coming back and grieving it in twenty years) with God's strength. With a smile on my face I released the ashes. Then more and more and more. Rob was last to release the remainder of his son's ashes.
Go in peace Trent. We will not hold you here.
We could just imagine Trent standing up there with us, getting ready to jump off fearlessly in a swan dive down the 300+ foot zip line. If I could have I would have jumped fearlessly down the zip line, too, just because I know God would have caught me in the harness. He will catch us wherever He leads us. There was a bit of time left to share again with the staff and encourage each other, then it was off to hit the road as we hoped to make it to Iowa before a big snow storm hit.
Trent loved hunting! There were few things he talked about as much as hunting. In the past few months of his life he talked about how he wanted to go deer hunting in Iowa and if he ever moved it would be to a big plot of land in Iowa because the hunting was so good. Iowa?? I always envision Iowa as corn fields and lakes from childhood vacations to Uncle Evert and Aunt Eva's house on the lake.
On Trent's golden birthday trip we had seen the signs for the covered bridges in Madison County and had talked about going back to visit them one day. Wednesday afternoon we drove through Madison County again and I brought up the idea that we could release some of his ashes from one of the bridges. Now, just for the record, lest you think we are one big happy family all the time, I have to make a note here that this thought did not receive unanimous cheers. There were those who were concerned about time and miles and distance; those who just wanted to get to the pool; and those who wanted his ashes released somewhere that would have deer and turkey because, after all, Trent wanted to move to Iowa for the hunting not the bridges. After sulking just a smidgen the decision was made to see just how far away the bridges were, and if they were close enough we would stop on the way down rather than the way home (which is a good thing we did as on the way home it was dark and we had a goat in the van).
After finding a map and looking at the different options we decided on the Roseman Bridge. We drove through lots of snow covered back roads before we came to the quiet little bridge. It turned out to be just the kind of place that Trent would have loved~ a river, beautiful woods surrounding it, turkey and deer in the fields along the way. We all spent some quiet time releasing his ashes where we chose and then just enjoyed the beautiful bridge together.
Next on the list was Springfield, MO. It was pretty late getting into Springfield and we were all a bit tired of the van. Heading onto Sunshine Street hit both Rob and I pretty hard as we remembered three years ago the excitement to be here with Trent. After spending some time crying in the hotel bathroom I finally got my swimsuit on and we all headed down to the pool. Alexis did a belly flop into the pool, came up, and said "Trent, that was for you!".
On Thursday we headed over to Bass Pro Shop and relived the excitement of seeing the store again. When we walked into the front entrance three years ago the seven of us just stood there in awe, jaws dropped, looking at all the displays. On this day the six of us did the same thing, but this time I held my hand in my pocket holding onto my bag of ashes, loving God for how He had planned everything out and being honored to be able to have a son in heaven.
As our final releasing we have saved some of the ashes to spread at the farm~ probably at the cabin sight where we enjoyed so many picnics, playing in the mud, building projects, and just happy afternoons. Rob wants to climb up into the deer stand and release some from there, too. Trent and Cole had a log cabin that they were building together and we may spread some there, as well. Farewell my son. Just like I told you all those times~ "If you go first, I'll see you when I get there."
**
To see the post with pictures click here.
I have never quite had to decide what my thoughts were on cremation before. I guess I never really cared for the idea, but then again, I never did have to make the decision before whether I wanted to have a loved one cremated or buried. To think back over the past three and a half weeks and ponder the decisions we have had to make I can only credit God with the clear understanding of how we were able to make any of them.
Even on the way up to the hospital on Friday Rob and I pretty much had decided that rather than a burial we wanted to go with cremating Trent's body. After seeing his shell at the hospital and knowing there was no soul left made the decision seem easier yet. Thinking over the next couple of days before we had to meet with the funeral director we both agreed that we did not want his body to be left here at some place that he never was for us to feel obligated to go kneel down in front of. It was a very freeing thought to not have his body tied here to this earth where we would be so tempted to leave it attached to this world rather than releasing every part of him to be in heaven where his soul is.
Part of the cremation process is to decide what to do with the ashes. Three years ago we took a trip to Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, MO, for Trent's golden birthday. We had always told him we would take a trip back down there someday. Trent's birthday was on March 10 so as a family we decided to take our last trip with Trent's remains to Springfield, MO, and release his ashes along the way in places that would honor who he was and what he loved.
The first place on the list was Lake Beauty Bible Camp in Long Prairie, MN. Lake Beauty has been a central part of our family for years and years. As a child I attended the youth camps there and as a family we have enjoyed family camps there for over 11 years. Our year was based around going to family camp~ we scheduled our school year to be finished before camp, summer ended and school started again after family camp, money was saved (from family devotion answers that Dad would tally up) and earned to go garage saleing on the way to family camp. They are weekends of total indulgence in enjoying time together as a family while being surrounded by other Christians and eating lots of good food. When Trent was little (4 years old) he was fearless and climbed the tower and jumped down the zip line for the first time on their high ropes course. Many years followed that he continued to enjoy the high ropes courses, along with paintball, swimming, boating, botche ball, carpet ball, night time black-light dodge ball, being first in the food line, friends, speakers, and campfires.
Since so many of our favorite family times have been spent at camp we contacted Brian and asked if we could spend some time with the staff who are like family and release some of Trent's ashes from the top of the tower. I guess there has never been a request made like that before at camp but Brian was happy to entertain us and welcomed us up for the afternoon. It is hard to know if you should be happy to take a trip to camp to release your sons ashes, or be sad, or somewhere in the middle. God chose to give us great joy and excitement as we headed out Tuesday morning.
It was wonderful to pull up at camp and see all the familiar faces we love so much. I wasn't sure (again) if I could get through this one-more-thing without losing it until Kristen walked out of the lodge and gave me a great big hug and told me that she had walked up to the tower that morning and prayed over the place that God would move in a great way that day. Again I was reminded that God's plans are perfect, even in this.
We spent time hugging and sharing with the staff just how good God has been to us. Then we headed up to the tower. The staff got us all harnessed up and we took the inside stairs up to the top. Brian and our family stood on top and had a time of prayer as we again praised God for His good works and again proclaimed our trust in His plans for His children. As with everything else up to this point we offered the kids to choose if they wanted to take part or not. They all chose to release some ashes except for Micah who is so little. To see the ashes the day before was hard. To think about putting my hand in that bag and holding them was harder. But, like everything else, I determined to go straight through it (versus going around, stuffing, side stepping, coming back and grieving it in twenty years) with God's strength. With a smile on my face I released the ashes. Then more and more and more. Rob was last to release the remainder of his son's ashes.
Go in peace Trent. We will not hold you here.
We could just imagine Trent standing up there with us, getting ready to jump off fearlessly in a swan dive down the 300+ foot zip line. If I could have I would have jumped fearlessly down the zip line, too, just because I know God would have caught me in the harness. He will catch us wherever He leads us. There was a bit of time left to share again with the staff and encourage each other, then it was off to hit the road as we hoped to make it to Iowa before a big snow storm hit.
Trent loved hunting! There were few things he talked about as much as hunting. In the past few months of his life he talked about how he wanted to go deer hunting in Iowa and if he ever moved it would be to a big plot of land in Iowa because the hunting was so good. Iowa?? I always envision Iowa as corn fields and lakes from childhood vacations to Uncle Evert and Aunt Eva's house on the lake.
On Trent's golden birthday trip we had seen the signs for the covered bridges in Madison County and had talked about going back to visit them one day. Wednesday afternoon we drove through Madison County again and I brought up the idea that we could release some of his ashes from one of the bridges. Now, just for the record, lest you think we are one big happy family all the time, I have to make a note here that this thought did not receive unanimous cheers. There were those who were concerned about time and miles and distance; those who just wanted to get to the pool; and those who wanted his ashes released somewhere that would have deer and turkey because, after all, Trent wanted to move to Iowa for the hunting not the bridges. After sulking just a smidgen the decision was made to see just how far away the bridges were, and if they were close enough we would stop on the way down rather than the way home (which is a good thing we did as on the way home it was dark and we had a goat in the van).
After finding a map and looking at the different options we decided on the Roseman Bridge. We drove through lots of snow covered back roads before we came to the quiet little bridge. It turned out to be just the kind of place that Trent would have loved~ a river, beautiful woods surrounding it, turkey and deer in the fields along the way. We all spent some quiet time releasing his ashes where we chose and then just enjoyed the beautiful bridge together.
Next on the list was Springfield, MO. It was pretty late getting into Springfield and we were all a bit tired of the van. Heading onto Sunshine Street hit both Rob and I pretty hard as we remembered three years ago the excitement to be here with Trent. After spending some time crying in the hotel bathroom I finally got my swimsuit on and we all headed down to the pool. Alexis did a belly flop into the pool, came up, and said "Trent, that was for you!".
On Thursday we headed over to Bass Pro Shop and relived the excitement of seeing the store again. When we walked into the front entrance three years ago the seven of us just stood there in awe, jaws dropped, looking at all the displays. On this day the six of us did the same thing, but this time I held my hand in my pocket holding onto my bag of ashes, loving God for how He had planned everything out and being honored to be able to have a son in heaven.
As our final releasing we have saved some of the ashes to spread at the farm~ probably at the cabin sight where we enjoyed so many picnics, playing in the mud, building projects, and just happy afternoons. Rob wants to climb up into the deer stand and release some from there, too. Trent and Cole had a log cabin that they were building together and we may spread some there, as well. Farewell my son. Just like I told you all those times~ "If you go first, I'll see you when I get there."
**
To see the post with pictures click here.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Being Where We Are
March 12, 2011
What a journey God has us on. The thoughts, prayers and theology that have gone through my mind, besides all of the events of the past three weeks, has my mind trying to nicely tie everything together in a pretty little package so I can sit down one day and just sort everything out. The God who I didn't realize I had in a nice little box of my own has revealed Himself to be more than I could have ever imagined Him to be. His promises have been more real than they have ever been before and His peace has been beyond anything I could ever imagine. The words that He has whispered in my ears, or shouted from billboards, or spoke through friends and strangers have been a balm to soothe my pain to the point that I wonder if I should be sadder that Trent is in heaven. I am not in denial, I know Trent is gone and I miss him like crazy, but the overwhelming knowledge of God being in control is my constant compass to point me heavenward in everything that tries to take away this joy. Yes, joy. Joy that goes beyond anything this world has to offer and joy deeper than any sorrow. My delight is in the Lord and His plans. He has allowed complete surrender to my own ways in this and has replaced it with peace. Where else do I have to turn but the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth? Just because He is kind to His children He has lead me to several verses that have brought, again, the reassurance that God is good and is definitely in control of all of this. And without a doubt He loves me through out it and in it. 
From Isaiah 42
Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him... I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you.... I am the Lord; that is my name!
From Isaiah 48, 49:1-2, and 57:1-2
My own hand laid the foundations of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I summon them, they all stand together. (If we serve a God who could simply form the earth and the heavens by speaking, then we have to believe that this God also ordained the day of the accident perfectly as well, and all for His glory.)
This is what the Lord says~ your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea. (You have allowed me to pay attention to your commands, Oh Lord, and my peace is like a river!)
For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this {declares the Lord}. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another. Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.
Isaiah 59:1 Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.
What a journey God has us on. The thoughts, prayers and theology that have gone through my mind, besides all of the events of the past three weeks, has my mind trying to nicely tie everything together in a pretty little package so I can sit down one day and just sort everything out. The God who I didn't realize I had in a nice little box of my own has revealed Himself to be more than I could have ever imagined Him to be. His promises have been more real than they have ever been before and His peace has been beyond anything I could ever imagine. The words that He has whispered in my ears, or shouted from billboards, or spoke through friends and strangers have been a balm to soothe my pain to the point that I wonder if I should be sadder that Trent is in heaven. I am not in denial, I know Trent is gone and I miss him like crazy, but the overwhelming knowledge of God being in control is my constant compass to point me heavenward in everything that tries to take away this joy. Yes, joy. Joy that goes beyond anything this world has to offer and joy deeper than any sorrow. My delight is in the Lord and His plans. He has allowed complete surrender to my own ways in this and has replaced it with peace. Where else do I have to turn but the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth? Just because He is kind to His children He has lead me to several verses that have brought, again, the reassurance that God is good and is definitely in control of all of this. And without a doubt He loves me through out it and in it. From Isaiah 42 Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him... I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you.... I am the Lord; that is my name!
From Isaiah 48, 49:1-2, and 57:1-2 My own hand laid the foundations of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I summon them, they all stand together. (If we serve a God who could simply form the earth and the heavens by speaking, then we have to believe that this God also ordained the day of the accident perfectly as well, and all for His glory.)
This is what the Lord says~ your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea. (You have allowed me to pay attention to your commands, Oh Lord, and my peace is like a river!)
For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this {declares the Lord}. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another. Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.
Isaiah 59:1 Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.
Suffering
Obviously I have been pondering suffering lately. God has notched up the word a degree or two on my spiritual radar and as much as I thought I knew about suffering I have realized I haven't even scratched the surface on the gift God has given me. As fat lazy wealthy arrogant entitled American Christians we have created for ourselves a God foreign to the God of the Bible when we discredit suffering as part of God's plan to sanctify us. Just this morning I read in scripture how God loves us, cherishes us, has predestined us, but also how He has granted to us the privilege of not only believing in Christ, but also to suffer for Him. It has been granted as a gift to suffer for Christ. Trying to wrap my brain around that thought on a deeper level has caused me to wonder how suffering can be a gift.
One of my first clues was found in Galatians 3: 22a~ But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin. Christian brother and sister listen to me: this world is not our home. We have made ourselves so comfortable here in this foreign land, gotten so use to her gods, rituals, customs, foods and beliefs that we ourselves have forgotten our first love. God never intended for us to be comfortable here and He will not share His glory with anyone or anything, not even the blinking little lights of Hollywood that we welcome into our homes.
A study on the Israelites reveals a people who continued to go astray and a God who graciously continued to bring them back through hard times. Just as a parent who continually disciplines their spoiled little child in order to train them up to be a joy, God continually disciplines his children to resemble Him. Suffering wakes us up to the sinfulness of this fallen world and reminds us that this is not our home. It makes us long for our eternal home when God will make things right forever.
Suffering pries our hands off of the treasures we hold so dear and makes us look deeper at what God holds dear. We can't take any of this stuff with us. All of Trent's belongings are here~ his guns, his prized possessions, his trophy bass, his pictures, his socks. All that mattered was what he had done with and for Jesus Christ.
Paul tells us in Philippians 1:12 that because of suffering the gospel will be advanced. Rarely does the gospel go out with so much success without suffering preceding it. Deep down we are all looking for a way to make sense of this world, and deep down we all know that there is a God, but rarely do we take the time to consider this God until we are forced to stop entertaining ourselves long enough and look at the hard things of life. Death is a hard thing in this life. Looking at your own son's death is even harder and has a way to wake you up a bit. God has allowed me to embrace this as His perfect plan which He says He rejoices in.
Romans 1 says to deny the God of the Bible and turn Him into a God of our liking causes us to be turned over to our own sinfulness. The God that is revealed in Scripture says that He has a plan for suffering and it will always bring Him glory, and somehow, us joy. Suffering is the way that God chose to bring salvation to the world and suffering is the way that the gospel goes forth. May we learn to move on from the elementary teachings and long for the deeper things of God my friends.
The Alien Planet
March 4, 2011
As Traci would say "Day 14 on the Alien Planet" (Cheaper by the Dozen sound familiar anybody?). That's about how it feels~ like we are walking around in a different zone than anybody else. We had to make a Walmart trip tonight because my contacts where (ahem) 6 months overdue and I couldn't put off any longer waiting to get a new pair. I was doing pretty good until we were waiting in line to check in and saw the doctors name. What are the odds that his name would be Trent, too? Then the poor (young) doctor made some comment about bringing all the kids with and next thing you know he has a crying lady on his hands. At home it's one thing to be able to wander around trying to figure out just how to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but going out in the real world again baffles me. I just watch people and think "don't you know my son just died? don't you know it could be your son, or you, next? does eternity not matter more than what's on sale at Walmart?" and then I have to make a choice between rootbeer or orange pop/bottles or cans to take on a trip to spread my sons ashes next week. Bizarre. And that's about all I have to say about that. I'm going to go finish off the cheese puffs and see if I can make it through one more Star Wars movie in the Great Star Wars Movie Fest in honor of Trent.
Just Some Encouragement
For the past year or so the book by my bedside has been "Filling up the Afflictions of Christ: The Cost of Bringing the Gospel to the Nations in the Lives of William Tyndale, Adoniram Judson, and John Paton" by John Piper. For some reason I have struggled to get into the meat of the book~ maybe because I really did not want to know the cost of bringing the gospel to the nations??? Yet every time I saw it lying there I felt it's calling to learn the cost. This morning as I was longing for encouragement in what God is doing I picked up the book, my Bible, a big cup of coffee and crawled into the recliner. I re-read the story of John Paton, reading a bit more carefully the part about when he had first gone to the island of Tanna and within the first 4 months of being there both his wife and his newborn son died of a sudden illness.
Describing his loss he says: "I felt her loss beyond all conception or description, in that dark land. It was very difficult to be resigned, left alone, and in sorrowful circumstances; but feeling immovably assured that my God and father was too wise and loving to err in anything that He does or permits, I looked up to the Lord for help, and struggle on in His work."
He goes on to say, when talking 15 years later after another child had died : "Whatever trials have befallen me in my Earthly Pilgrimage, I have never had the trial of doubting that perhaps, after all, Jesus had made some mistake. No! my blessed Lord Jesus makes no mistakes! When we see all His meaning, we shall then understand, what now we can only trustfully believe that all is well- best for us, best for the cause most dear to us, best for the good of others and the glory of God."
And to top it all off (as if that wasn't enough encouragement) God sent a friend to visit to greatly encourage us, cards and emails and phone calls continued all day to remind us of the good work that God is doing, and being able to share at AWANA with friends who are walking beside us have kept our eyes on the cross. And besides all that, Trent is still in heaven. May the name of the Lord be praised for His good and perfect ways!
Describing his loss he says: "I felt her loss beyond all conception or description, in that dark land. It was very difficult to be resigned, left alone, and in sorrowful circumstances; but feeling immovably assured that my God and father was too wise and loving to err in anything that He does or permits, I looked up to the Lord for help, and struggle on in His work."
He goes on to say, when talking 15 years later after another child had died : "Whatever trials have befallen me in my Earthly Pilgrimage, I have never had the trial of doubting that perhaps, after all, Jesus had made some mistake. No! my blessed Lord Jesus makes no mistakes! When we see all His meaning, we shall then understand, what now we can only trustfully believe that all is well- best for us, best for the cause most dear to us, best for the good of others and the glory of God."
And to top it all off (as if that wasn't enough encouragement) God sent a friend to visit to greatly encourage us, cards and emails and phone calls continued all day to remind us of the good work that God is doing, and being able to share at AWANA with friends who are walking beside us have kept our eyes on the cross. And besides all that, Trent is still in heaven. May the name of the Lord be praised for His good and perfect ways!
I Miss Him
March 2, 2011
I have found myself missing Trent so much the last couple of days. I miss his smile. I miss how he came up and rubbed my lower back with his fist. I miss how he was always there as my protector, whether I was talking with somebody or just trying to do something, he sensed it and was right there. I miss how he crawled in bed and snuggled in the morning. I miss how he always said goodnight, love you. I miss seeing him laying in his bed, waiting for his blessing, asking to snuggle. I miss how he always wanted to stay up late to watch Star Wars, and especially wanted me to stay up late with him. I miss how he loved to cook and was always whipping up something extra special, even if I didn't always like the extra seasonings or the wild game of the day. I miss his help in the barn, how he jumped in to do the heavy work. I miss him being here when the goats are born. I miss not seeing him roam the woods. I miss not seeing him ride his bike, or the 4-wheeler, or the snowmobile, or the short horses. I miss his giggle. I miss him not being here to clean the kitchen or do the dishes on Monday. I miss how he hated schoolwork and would only work hard on it so he could earn computer time or go outside. I miss his Bible questions. I miss his spiky hair-do and his long Ken-doll locks. I miss how he would be forced to shower only to have to go back and wash his hair in the sink because he "forgot" to wash it in the shower. I miss his long fingernails that he hated to trim. I miss all the holy shirts that he chose to wear over anything nice. I miss him coming down the steps in the morning in his PJ's. I miss him fighting with his brothers and sisters. I miss him talking with Lexi at night after he was supposed to be tucked in bed. I miss his horrible printing and spelling. I miss him teasing me about wearing his socks. I miss him running down to the barn in his underwear with Cole because they wanted to beat the guys in 8 Below. I miss him taking pictures. I miss him having fun with Thomas and Samuel. I miss him working for Russell and asking for a raise. I miss him looking at his hunting magazines and browsing the bait and tackle rows at Walmart. I miss him playing football and working so hard for his coaches. I just plain old miss him and eternity is seeming farther away. But I know where he is, and I still wouldn't want him back for a day. Lord, haste the day that I see my son again~ be my comforter as you promised to be. I do trust you in this and love that your ways are perfect.
I have found myself missing Trent so much the last couple of days. I miss his smile. I miss how he came up and rubbed my lower back with his fist. I miss how he was always there as my protector, whether I was talking with somebody or just trying to do something, he sensed it and was right there. I miss how he crawled in bed and snuggled in the morning. I miss how he always said goodnight, love you. I miss seeing him laying in his bed, waiting for his blessing, asking to snuggle. I miss how he always wanted to stay up late to watch Star Wars, and especially wanted me to stay up late with him. I miss how he loved to cook and was always whipping up something extra special, even if I didn't always like the extra seasonings or the wild game of the day. I miss his help in the barn, how he jumped in to do the heavy work. I miss him being here when the goats are born. I miss not seeing him roam the woods. I miss not seeing him ride his bike, or the 4-wheeler, or the snowmobile, or the short horses. I miss his giggle. I miss him not being here to clean the kitchen or do the dishes on Monday. I miss how he hated schoolwork and would only work hard on it so he could earn computer time or go outside. I miss his Bible questions. I miss his spiky hair-do and his long Ken-doll locks. I miss how he would be forced to shower only to have to go back and wash his hair in the sink because he "forgot" to wash it in the shower. I miss his long fingernails that he hated to trim. I miss all the holy shirts that he chose to wear over anything nice. I miss him coming down the steps in the morning in his PJ's. I miss him fighting with his brothers and sisters. I miss him talking with Lexi at night after he was supposed to be tucked in bed. I miss his horrible printing and spelling. I miss him teasing me about wearing his socks. I miss him running down to the barn in his underwear with Cole because they wanted to beat the guys in 8 Below. I miss him taking pictures. I miss him having fun with Thomas and Samuel. I miss him working for Russell and asking for a raise. I miss him looking at his hunting magazines and browsing the bait and tackle rows at Walmart. I miss him playing football and working so hard for his coaches. I just plain old miss him and eternity is seeming farther away. But I know where he is, and I still wouldn't want him back for a day. Lord, haste the day that I see my son again~ be my comforter as you promised to be. I do trust you in this and love that your ways are perfect.
Struggling in the Garden
March 1, 2011
There has been just a bit of respite from the events of the past week and a half and I have found that I am exhausted. My joy is still found in the Lord, and knowing that Trent is in heaven only causes smiles, but my human body is wore out. Graciously God allowed a couple of nights with solid sleep, plus a long nap yesterday. Everything seems to take extra effort just to accomplish at this point. The gifts of meals, paper plates, pizza, coffee and friends who came to sweep my floors and fold my laundry have been all the more appreciated. At this point we are gearing up to handle more details. Bills are waiting to get paid, arrangements for releasing Trent's ashes over his birthday next week have to be planned, and eventually the x-box vacation needs to end for the younger kids. I have deliberately been looking up passages in scripture that refer to God's will and heaven, affirming again that God's plan is perfect and what He is bringing forth from Trent's death is perfect. The book of Job has been especially comforting, to think that Satan intended this for evil but God is using it for His good, and has already brought salvation. My struggle is not with God or his plan for Friday, my struggle at this point is how do I go on living the same after Friday? God had been convicting us that we were too caught up in this world before He took Trent home, but now we are all the more convinced that nothing matters except what is done for Christ. As Rob said at the celebration~ all of Trent's guns and everything he loved is still here, the only thing in heaven is his soul. I look around at all the things that mattered so much, and have a hard time making them look so valuable now. On the contrary, I look around and see all the foolishness and false living that people are so caught up in and find myself begging God even more to open their eyes, along with mine. I find myself torn between asking God to leave us here to minister to all those around us that He has given us to be a light to, to asking Him to allow us to give up all these earthly possessions and take us into full time ministry with no earthly ties. I am tired of spending all my energy and putting all my emotions into paying the mortgage when there are souls that are perishing all around me. I long to build with precious stone and jewels that my life may stand the test of God's refining fire. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
There has been just a bit of respite from the events of the past week and a half and I have found that I am exhausted. My joy is still found in the Lord, and knowing that Trent is in heaven only causes smiles, but my human body is wore out. Graciously God allowed a couple of nights with solid sleep, plus a long nap yesterday. Everything seems to take extra effort just to accomplish at this point. The gifts of meals, paper plates, pizza, coffee and friends who came to sweep my floors and fold my laundry have been all the more appreciated. At this point we are gearing up to handle more details. Bills are waiting to get paid, arrangements for releasing Trent's ashes over his birthday next week have to be planned, and eventually the x-box vacation needs to end for the younger kids. I have deliberately been looking up passages in scripture that refer to God's will and heaven, affirming again that God's plan is perfect and what He is bringing forth from Trent's death is perfect. The book of Job has been especially comforting, to think that Satan intended this for evil but God is using it for His good, and has already brought salvation. My struggle is not with God or his plan for Friday, my struggle at this point is how do I go on living the same after Friday? God had been convicting us that we were too caught up in this world before He took Trent home, but now we are all the more convinced that nothing matters except what is done for Christ. As Rob said at the celebration~ all of Trent's guns and everything he loved is still here, the only thing in heaven is his soul. I look around at all the things that mattered so much, and have a hard time making them look so valuable now. On the contrary, I look around and see all the foolishness and false living that people are so caught up in and find myself begging God even more to open their eyes, along with mine. I find myself torn between asking God to leave us here to minister to all those around us that He has given us to be a light to, to asking Him to allow us to give up all these earthly possessions and take us into full time ministry with no earthly ties. I am tired of spending all my energy and putting all my emotions into paying the mortgage when there are souls that are perishing all around me. I long to build with precious stone and jewels that my life may stand the test of God's refining fire. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
I Realized When
February 26, 2011
Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends! Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 3:17-21, and 4:1&4 taken from http://www.biblegateway.com/
Looking back I found these posts very interesting in light of God's sovereignty~ click here and here and here to read more
I realized tonight just when this is going to get hard~ it is going to be when I take my eyes off of the cross. That is when I will start to think that this is our final home. That is when I will forget where Trent is, and what it cost for Jesus himself to bring him there. I will start to forget that God himself gave up a son for my son to enter His glory. I will start to forget about God's perfect plan that He called good. I will forget about the grace poured out on us on every step of this journey so far because Trent was saved and is now in heaven. There were 11 other boys with him, several who have admitted to us that they are not saved and would have been in hell right now had God taken them last Friday.
When my eyes stray from the cross my apathy returns and I forget the souls surrounding me that have an eternal destination. I will then seek my comforts here and expect again that this world will offer me what only God can. I will forget that my life is only as a shadow, that my eternity will be in heaven, and that only what is done for Christ will last. I can say with Paul: Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14) 
May God never take my eyes off of the cross in all of this. May He keep me faithful to the high calling He has brought in my life. May it all be for His glory. And may many souls be woken up to ask the question~ What if it had been you that died on that slope on Friday? Where would you be? Where would your children be? Christian parent, what are you raising your children for? For the glory of God, or the glory of the world?
May God never take my eyes off of the cross in all of this. May He keep me faithful to the high calling He has brought in my life. May it all be for His glory. And may many souls be woken up to ask the question~ What if it had been you that died on that slope on Friday? Where would you be? Where would your children be? Christian parent, what are you raising your children for? For the glory of God, or the glory of the world? Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends! Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 3:17-21, and 4:1&4 taken from http://www.biblegateway.com/
Looking back I found these posts very interesting in light of God's sovereignty~ click here and here and here to read more
The Morning After
February 25, 2011
Everybody has told me that it will be the day after the funeral, and the weeks, months, and years after that will be hard. So, given this is the dreaded "morning after", I have found since last night that for their sake I (because I tend to be a people pleaser at my core) think it is only appropriate to crash now. Since Friday I have only determined to do one thing at a time, finish one detail before I move on to the next good work that God has ordained. His grace is sufficient for today, tomorrow has enough worries of it's own. We have watched God be with us and give us strength every step of the way so far and we are determined to realize that it is only by his grace that we will take every other step as well for the rest of our lives.
My thoughts over the last couple of days, and especially this morning, have been about being refined by God's fire. When the day comes to write the whole story I will rejoice in the twenty years that God has been preparing me for this, but for now I need to remember His abundant mercy, love, tenderness, and promises that will sustain me until I enter glory. I am so much the more living eternally minded because of what God did Friday. Looking ahead to the day when all things will be tested by God's fire. What was built with precious gold and stone will be revealed, and what was built with hay and stubble will also be revealed.
Trent's life was precious gold and stone to his mother's heart. His loss will always stand the fire as it is just as scripture has said, that the gospel will go forth with much sorrow and heartache. What I find myself being aware of right now is how I go about building the rest. Will I choose to believe what God has promised~ that this is His good work, that He is sovereign, that He really does have every day planned, even Friday? Will I build this to be a poor Terri pity party so I get the glory? Or, with everything that is within me and with all the strength that God gives me, will I hold onto knowing and somehow extolling that this is all about God and him being glorified? Will other's souls be of higher importance to me at this time?
I know that Trent is in heaven, I watched God work in his life. God has revealed and proven enough other scriptures to me that it is a simple equation in my brain to see that God did what scripture says in how he saved Trent (He allowed us to see Trent's hard heart, revealing to us clearly that he was dead in sin. God then saved him, not by our coaxing at the time, etc., but clearly at a time that God changed his heart.), to believe that Trent is now in heaven.
So this "morning after" I have determined to be where God wants me, not where everybody else thinks I should be. I have begged God to never let me want Trent back here. There is nothing here that I would want him for if it denies him being with God. I want to always praise God for His perfect plan of salvation. Those who love salvation love God's ways (Psalm 40).
God has also graciously brought several examples from scripture to mind. When the baby died was when King David rose up from his mourning clothes, washed, anointed himself with oil and called for food. Those around him were baffled, as many are around us, but his response was that the baby died. David knew that he would go to the baby, but the baby would never return to him. God has chosen Trent to go home at this time; God has chosen us to live at this time. May we always be faithful to God in the days left we have to live and do His work.
Another example is Jesus Christ himself, who Hebrews says suffered in many the same ways as we have. He fully knew the consequences of sin and that God's plan for salvation would include death, even his own death. I have been recalling His reaction, and can not recall ever when he was angry about it. He struggled in the garden, but in the end it was God's will that He longed for over his own. God also reminded me of Lazarus, and how scripture says that Jesus wept. It is okay to weep.
But my thoughts of Jesus also go to his resurrected body, and give me yet again the hope of one day gladly giving up this body, as Trent has just given up his body, and look forward all the more to the day that God calls me home. I would not want to be wished back.
Paul's life has also been on my mind over the last few days. God for now has especially brought us the book of Philippians to affirm again His good plans in this. Paul was in prison facing his own death at the time, yet his only thought was to glorify God in it and to see many saved, which he did. Even in those circumstances, Paul says several times "rejoice~ and again rejoice". As the passage in Isaiah 65:17-25 was so sweetly given to us from God, I will hold on tightly to the verses that tell me this was God's good and perfect plan and it is okay to rejoice in it forever because that is what God is doing.
We are being poured out like a drink offering, and like Paul, we can't choose which is better: to be with Christ or to remain here for the sake of God's work, but being that God has us here, we can only choose to storm forth and battle for lost souls with a vengeance and energy that we have never had before. We will continue to fight the good fight all the days God allows us to. When and if the hard days come, I will worry about them then. Today God's grace is more than sufficient, and again today He has allowed me great rejoicing that my son is in heaven.
I am trying to be very careful to let God handle all of the details at this point as well. I tend to have my own ideas of how God should work even in this, and I need to remind myself over and over again that God will do the rest, not me. My part is to be faithful to what and who He calls me to, not to manage the numbers and times and depth that He will take people. It is God that I need to glorify, not my own ego.
I long to stay in this hiding place of God, where I am being carried by so many prayers and an abundance of grace. Where nothing else matters but the gospel going forth. The worldly things of jobs, money, schedules, etc., etc., are soon going to creep back in and I don't want to get caught up in this world again.
My other morning thoughts are the ones of the amazing celebration we enjoyed yesterday. Of the many, many ministering opportunities that we had personally, and I am sure others had as well. Of the gospel going forth several times, personally and publicly. We were told that 400 people attended the funeral. I think of the people who came to surround us. I tried to drink in every single part of the day, but at the same time let it go and not hold on to the yesterdays so we can do the work God would have for us in the tomorrows.
The finality is not Trent's body in the coffin, it is the work of God being done. No matter what God chooses to do with his death, Trent is still in heaven, and that will be enough, although I long for God to do more and to save many, because that is what He promised to do. And He also promised to never leave me or forsake me in doing it. What a mighty God we serve!
Everybody has told me that it will be the day after the funeral, and the weeks, months, and years after that will be hard. So, given this is the dreaded "morning after", I have found since last night that for their sake I (because I tend to be a people pleaser at my core) think it is only appropriate to crash now. Since Friday I have only determined to do one thing at a time, finish one detail before I move on to the next good work that God has ordained. His grace is sufficient for today, tomorrow has enough worries of it's own. We have watched God be with us and give us strength every step of the way so far and we are determined to realize that it is only by his grace that we will take every other step as well for the rest of our lives.
My thoughts over the last couple of days, and especially this morning, have been about being refined by God's fire. When the day comes to write the whole story I will rejoice in the twenty years that God has been preparing me for this, but for now I need to remember His abundant mercy, love, tenderness, and promises that will sustain me until I enter glory. I am so much the more living eternally minded because of what God did Friday. Looking ahead to the day when all things will be tested by God's fire. What was built with precious gold and stone will be revealed, and what was built with hay and stubble will also be revealed.
Trent's life was precious gold and stone to his mother's heart. His loss will always stand the fire as it is just as scripture has said, that the gospel will go forth with much sorrow and heartache. What I find myself being aware of right now is how I go about building the rest. Will I choose to believe what God has promised~ that this is His good work, that He is sovereign, that He really does have every day planned, even Friday? Will I build this to be a poor Terri pity party so I get the glory? Or, with everything that is within me and with all the strength that God gives me, will I hold onto knowing and somehow extolling that this is all about God and him being glorified? Will other's souls be of higher importance to me at this time?
I know that Trent is in heaven, I watched God work in his life. God has revealed and proven enough other scriptures to me that it is a simple equation in my brain to see that God did what scripture says in how he saved Trent (He allowed us to see Trent's hard heart, revealing to us clearly that he was dead in sin. God then saved him, not by our coaxing at the time, etc., but clearly at a time that God changed his heart.), to believe that Trent is now in heaven.
So this "morning after" I have determined to be where God wants me, not where everybody else thinks I should be. I have begged God to never let me want Trent back here. There is nothing here that I would want him for if it denies him being with God. I want to always praise God for His perfect plan of salvation. Those who love salvation love God's ways (Psalm 40).
God has also graciously brought several examples from scripture to mind. When the baby died was when King David rose up from his mourning clothes, washed, anointed himself with oil and called for food. Those around him were baffled, as many are around us, but his response was that the baby died. David knew that he would go to the baby, but the baby would never return to him. God has chosen Trent to go home at this time; God has chosen us to live at this time. May we always be faithful to God in the days left we have to live and do His work.
Another example is Jesus Christ himself, who Hebrews says suffered in many the same ways as we have. He fully knew the consequences of sin and that God's plan for salvation would include death, even his own death. I have been recalling His reaction, and can not recall ever when he was angry about it. He struggled in the garden, but in the end it was God's will that He longed for over his own. God also reminded me of Lazarus, and how scripture says that Jesus wept. It is okay to weep.
But my thoughts of Jesus also go to his resurrected body, and give me yet again the hope of one day gladly giving up this body, as Trent has just given up his body, and look forward all the more to the day that God calls me home. I would not want to be wished back.
Paul's life has also been on my mind over the last few days. God for now has especially brought us the book of Philippians to affirm again His good plans in this. Paul was in prison facing his own death at the time, yet his only thought was to glorify God in it and to see many saved, which he did. Even in those circumstances, Paul says several times "rejoice~ and again rejoice". As the passage in Isaiah 65:17-25 was so sweetly given to us from God, I will hold on tightly to the verses that tell me this was God's good and perfect plan and it is okay to rejoice in it forever because that is what God is doing.
We are being poured out like a drink offering, and like Paul, we can't choose which is better: to be with Christ or to remain here for the sake of God's work, but being that God has us here, we can only choose to storm forth and battle for lost souls with a vengeance and energy that we have never had before. We will continue to fight the good fight all the days God allows us to. When and if the hard days come, I will worry about them then. Today God's grace is more than sufficient, and again today He has allowed me great rejoicing that my son is in heaven.
I am trying to be very careful to let God handle all of the details at this point as well. I tend to have my own ideas of how God should work even in this, and I need to remind myself over and over again that God will do the rest, not me. My part is to be faithful to what and who He calls me to, not to manage the numbers and times and depth that He will take people. It is God that I need to glorify, not my own ego.
I long to stay in this hiding place of God, where I am being carried by so many prayers and an abundance of grace. Where nothing else matters but the gospel going forth. The worldly things of jobs, money, schedules, etc., etc., are soon going to creep back in and I don't want to get caught up in this world again.
My other morning thoughts are the ones of the amazing celebration we enjoyed yesterday. Of the many, many ministering opportunities that we had personally, and I am sure others had as well. Of the gospel going forth several times, personally and publicly. We were told that 400 people attended the funeral. I think of the people who came to surround us. I tried to drink in every single part of the day, but at the same time let it go and not hold on to the yesterdays so we can do the work God would have for us in the tomorrows.
The finality is not Trent's body in the coffin, it is the work of God being done. No matter what God chooses to do with his death, Trent is still in heaven, and that will be enough, although I long for God to do more and to save many, because that is what He promised to do. And He also promised to never leave me or forsake me in doing it. What a mighty God we serve!
This is The Day
Thursday, February 24, 2011
This is the day that the Lord has made, and we are rejoicing in it. This is the day to celebrate Trent's short life here in this world and worship the God who has ordained the steps to bring him home and use his life for so much. The anticipation in our house is so high right now as we look forward to being used, yet again, to be a witness and a testimony to the work and hope of God at the funeral/celebration service this afternoon. Please continue your prayers that God would work in a mighty way today, in both believers and non-believers. Already we are seeing the fruit of salvation that God promised would come from our afflictions; the gospel has gone forth just as He promised it would, and we have seen the beginning of the elect that God will call through this.
Christians and non-Christians alike are baffled by what God is doing in our lives. We are smiling fools to many! God has granted us the peace and the joy in His plan. He has pried our fingers off of this world even more, and given us the heart for all the lost souls around us. He has made us bold. He has made us strong. He has made us to be full of rejoicing in His perfect plan. Our son is in heaven, how could we not rejoice if we believe what the Bible says?
Know that we are so grateful for the prayers that have been offered up on our behalf, as we credit none of this to ourselves. God has placed each one of you in our lives to be the support that hold us up, just as Aaron held up Moses' arms that the battle would be won. This is a battle for souls, souls that will live forever in eternity. God has called so many to have to decide to choose this day whom they will serve. He may not let you have another opportunity to decide. We have prayed for the walls to be built high and thick around us right now as we boldly proclaim what God is doing that His will may be done. I can just imagine Trent in heaven right now as he watches God's work and rejoices with us. Just a few of God's promises to us, His children.
From Psalms 40
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1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him. 4 Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. 5 Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. 7 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come— it is written about me in the scroll.8 I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.”9 I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, LORD, as you know. 10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. 12 For troubles without number surround me; 13 Be pleased to save me, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help me. 16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The LORD is great!”
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And from Isaiah 8 & 9
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11 This is what the LORD says to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people: 12 “Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. 13 The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread. 14 He will be a holy place;
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16 Bind up this testimony of warning and seal up God’s instruction among my disciples. 17 I will wait for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob. I will put my trust in him. 18 Here am I, and the children the LORD has given me. We are signs and symbols in Israel from the LORD Almighty, who dwells on Mount Zion.
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20 Consult God’s instruction and the testimony of warning. If anyone does not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn. 21 Distressed and hungry, they will roam through the land; when they are famished, they will become enraged and, looking upward, will curse their king and their God. 22 Then they will look toward the earth and see only distress and darkness and fearful gloom, and they will be thrust into utter darkness.
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2 The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. 3 You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest,
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6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.
Sweet, Sweet Words
February 23, 2011
God is good! He has allowed us more rejoicing again and we have seen Him move in mightier ways than we could have imagined. The details are becoming a bit overwhelming at this point, and coupled with very little sleep, no appetite, and ministering to all who walk through our door we are getting tired. But overall we are rejoicing still! God will take care of those little details and as long as He gives us the strength and the clarity we will press on, we will rest when He gives us that as well.
We were able to take a trip to buy new celebration clothes yesterday. As most of you all know I am so frugal so this was a big part of our rejoicing and celebrating in preparation for tomorrow. The details are coming together, it is like planning a wedding for our son in less than a week. Numerous people have stepped in and blessed us and I have allowed them to.
The details God has given us to handle He has also been faithful to give us the strength to do. We are being diligent to continue to find our strength only in the Lord and hold tightly to His word, prayer, and worship. As a family we are watching out closely for each other, and so far God has allowed us all to be like minded and long for God's glory in all of this; feeling honored to be a part of His work. God lead me to Philippians this morning and it was oh-so sweet.
*
3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
*
12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
*
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
*
29 For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, 30 since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.
*
17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
*
1 Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.
*
3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:{enter here anything that I could take confidence in other than the Lord~ my knowledge, my faith, my trust, my strength, my church, my family, etc., etc.,}
*
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
*
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
*
17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.
*
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
*
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
*
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
*
20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
**
And just a few more of God's whispers to me over the past few days~ This has been granted to me as a gift. It is allright to rejoice over this good work of God forever. I can take Christ as my example when He considered God's plan for salvation~ It would be done through death, and he never got angry or questioned God, but rather submitted and praised Him for His wisdom. God's will be done, not mine. I am free to do the same and trust my heavenly Father in this as well. We can praise God for this, even if we watch others around us struggle with God through it
God is good! He has allowed us more rejoicing again and we have seen Him move in mightier ways than we could have imagined. The details are becoming a bit overwhelming at this point, and coupled with very little sleep, no appetite, and ministering to all who walk through our door we are getting tired. But overall we are rejoicing still! God will take care of those little details and as long as He gives us the strength and the clarity we will press on, we will rest when He gives us that as well.
We were able to take a trip to buy new celebration clothes yesterday. As most of you all know I am so frugal so this was a big part of our rejoicing and celebrating in preparation for tomorrow. The details are coming together, it is like planning a wedding for our son in less than a week. Numerous people have stepped in and blessed us and I have allowed them to.
The details God has given us to handle He has also been faithful to give us the strength to do. We are being diligent to continue to find our strength only in the Lord and hold tightly to His word, prayer, and worship. As a family we are watching out closely for each other, and so far God has allowed us all to be like minded and long for God's glory in all of this; feeling honored to be a part of His work. God lead me to Philippians this morning and it was oh-so sweet.
*
3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
*
12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
*
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
*
29 For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, 30 since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.
*
17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
*
1 Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.
*
3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:{enter here anything that I could take confidence in other than the Lord~ my knowledge, my faith, my trust, my strength, my church, my family, etc., etc.,}
*
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
*
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
*
17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.
*
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
*
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
*
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
*
20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
**
And just a few more of God's whispers to me over the past few days~ This has been granted to me as a gift. It is allright to rejoice over this good work of God forever. I can take Christ as my example when He considered God's plan for salvation~ It would be done through death, and he never got angry or questioned God, but rather submitted and praised Him for His wisdom. God's will be done, not mine. I am free to do the same and trust my heavenly Father in this as well. We can praise God for this, even if we watch others around us struggle with God through it
God's Grace is More Than Sufficient
February 22, 2011
It has amazed me again and again in the last four days how God moves in His children. To allow us to rejoice in the midst of this suffering has baffled many, but the power of God's love has sustained us and caused us to only love Him more and trust his hand more. To be able to walk into the hospital room and see my sons dead body and praise God; to be able to wake up the next morning and still rejoice that my son was in heaven; to quietly and peacefully, and with clarity, decide with Rob how to best honor God's plan for Trent's life at the funeral; to then go sit and discuss with the funeral director how we wanted the celebration planned; to be used as a testimony to what God's word says and proclaim His perfect plan in this and still be smiling. Then this morning as God gave me the words to write my son's obituary and articles for the papers has only caused me to believe all over again that God's grace is sufficient in all things. Praise the Lord! Feel free to share our message where you would like. From all of this we long to have the gospel spread, and the question asked "What if it had been you? Where would you be?" We know where our son is, and are rejoicing in God for it. Please pray intensely for us as we celebrate what God has done with Trent's life on Thursday, February 25, 2011, from the hours of 2:00-11:00 as many will hear the gospel for the first time and will have to see death first hand and the finality of it all. Please continue to keep our family upheld in prayer as well, as it is only by God's grace that we are able to rejoice in all of His good works and long to be used by Him in this.
It has amazed me again and again in the last four days how God moves in His children. To allow us to rejoice in the midst of this suffering has baffled many, but the power of God's love has sustained us and caused us to only love Him more and trust his hand more. To be able to walk into the hospital room and see my sons dead body and praise God; to be able to wake up the next morning and still rejoice that my son was in heaven; to quietly and peacefully, and with clarity, decide with Rob how to best honor God's plan for Trent's life at the funeral; to then go sit and discuss with the funeral director how we wanted the celebration planned; to be used as a testimony to what God's word says and proclaim His perfect plan in this and still be smiling. Then this morning as God gave me the words to write my son's obituary and articles for the papers has only caused me to believe all over again that God's grace is sufficient in all things. Praise the Lord! Feel free to share our message where you would like. From all of this we long to have the gospel spread, and the question asked "What if it had been you? Where would you be?" We know where our son is, and are rejoicing in God for it. Please pray intensely for us as we celebrate what God has done with Trent's life on Thursday, February 25, 2011, from the hours of 2:00-11:00 as many will hear the gospel for the first time and will have to see death first hand and the finality of it all. Please continue to keep our family upheld in prayer as well, as it is only by God's grace that we are able to rejoice in all of His good works and long to be used by Him in this.
Our son, Trent, was born on March 10, 1998. God granted us 12 years with this precious boy before He chose to bring him home to heaven through a skiing accident on February 18, 2011.Trent was a child that lived his life fully, with somewhat reckless abandon. He found great joy in hunting, fishing, building, playing football and sliding down mud hills. But overall his joy was found in his King and Savior, Jesus Christ, of whom he would confidently proclaim. Trent will be remembered with many tears of joy for his life lived by his parents Rob and Terri, siblings Alexis, Cole, Grace and Micah, his grandparents Janice, and Duane and Nancy, many aunts, uncles, pancake eating cousins, and friends. He is preceded in death by his grandfather, Donald.It is with great rejoicing that we release our son, Trent, age 12, to our Heavenly Father. Dance before your King my son.
The article for the paper:
Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.
On Friday February 18, 2011, God did the unthinkable in our life~ He chose to take our 12 year old son, Trent, home in a skiing accident. It is only considered the unthinkable because our plans are not Gods plans, and our ways are not Gods ways. Before Trent was born we have entrusted the Lord with his life and have asked Him above all else to bring salvation to our son, to use him in a mighty way for God's glory, and to let him dwell in heaven for eternity. God only answered our prayers last Friday in a mightier way than we could have imagined, and we have been rejoicing in His good works and His mercies ever since.
Trent was a boy who truelly lived. From the very beginning he did what he loved and enjoyed the gifts and skills that God gave him to the full. In his short life he saw much of this world, traveling as far as India, the Bahamas, and Missouri to his favorite destination of Bass Pro Shop for his golden birthday, as well as many camping trips. God instilled a love of hunting and fishing into Trent and a joy of the great outdoors. Since he was little all he wanted was to turn 12 to be able to go hunting. During his 12th year God allowed him to shoot 2 deer. Trent loved to cook, to pick on his siblings Alexis, Cole, Grace and Micah, to protect his mother, to snuggle with his father, to be with his friends, especially his best friends Thomas and Samuel. Everything he was interested in he tried, even carving his own long bow and succeeding in taxidermy. In his short years he truelly lived.
But as we are all destined to, Trent also died. On Friday February 18, 2011, we said goodbye to our son as he left for a skiing trip with his friends, not knowing he would not be coming back home. God says he knows the number of our days, that He has created each one, and that He will do what He pleases. Trent struggled with his own sinfulness before God for most of his life. He knew that he was not right before God, and nothing he could do would ever make up for the sins he committed to make him worthy to enter heaven. In the summer of 2010 God graciously chose to bring salvation to Trent through repentence and the saving grace of Christ Jesus. Trent's life was transformed and we enjoyed the young fruit in his life as we watched God work.
It was with great peace and much rejoicing that we as his family have sent him off before us and accepted Gods perfect plan for Trent's life. Our longing is that God would be glorified in what He has done to wake up many to the realization that we are not guaranteed any number of years in this world. On Friday morning we had our son, on Friday afternoon he was gone. God's standards to enter his kingdom are high, He expects perfection. Trent was not perfect, not even close. God graciously provided His perfect son, Jesus Christ, as an atonement for our sinfulness and requires that we simply believe and acknowledge Him for it. God does the rest.
What we have asked nearly every person we have seen since Friday is "What if it had been you? Where would you be right now?" We diligently raised Trent up to know his sinful state and taught him what the word of God says because we know the implications of denying Christ now, and God was gracious to answer our prayers and to save Him. Scripture says that the gospel will go forth with much sorrow and heartache. Please let Trent's short life be a wake up call to you. We are rejoicing in the sorrow because we know where our son is and that we will one day be with him again for eternity because of our own salvation.
God's mercies are new everyday, and His peace does surpass all understanding. God has been so gracious to us in these few days by blessing us first of all with His peace. The family and friends that have surrounded us and have lifted us up in prayer are amazing and another testimony to God's goodness. It is with great rejoicing that we release our son, Trent, age 12, to our Heavenly Father. Dance before your King my son.
His Mercies are New Everyday
February 21, 2011
Thank you for sharing this walk with us! Know that God's plans and God's grace are greater than ours. We have been rejoicing since Friday for the good work that God has done! We have prayed for over 12 years for Trent to go to heaven one day and to be used by God in a mighty way~ and God has honored that. Who are we to complain when and how?? Trent died in a skiing accident with his youth group in Duluth, MN. In God's sovereignty he went just the way he would have wanted to go, in the woods, instantly. God's mercies have been many and amazing! We are praising him for them! Feel free to share the photo and our message on facebook (I understand it is already on there) or your blog as we are trusting God to use this for salvation for many and long for the real story of God's glory to be known through it. I love you all and will share more soon. Your words of encouragement mean so much to me, and your prayers are felt immensely. Terri
A New Home
February 19, 2011
On Friday February 18th our twelve year old son Trent went home to heaven. God's peace that surpasses all understanding is at this point being poured out on our household and we are rejoicing in His goodness. God granted Trent salvation last summer and we all enjoyed the fruit in his young life. Already we are seeing God move in mighty ways and desire to see Him glorified in it. Dance before your king my son.
17 “See, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
20 “Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.
23 They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the LORD.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Freedom
He has come to give us life and life abundantly. We have been set free. Mercy. Love. Hope. Joy. Peace. Life. Salvation. Have you ever had the overwhelming flood of God washing over you? The time when you bask in His goodness, His mercy, and His love. To feel the washing of it. The rising of joy in it. The healing and freedom. The walls come tumbling down and you let them. You know you're not worthy, but He loves you anyway. The shame and the unworthiness have no place. Free to be who He made you in Him. When your hands are raised and there is nothing but God alone. The things you have been trying too hard to keep in check all fade away~ the bitterness, the worries, the cares of this world. It' all for the glory of the King. When you build walls so high and so thick sometimes you even start to wall God off. I don't want Him walled off. I want everything He promised me. I want Him. I am laying down my trowel and letting God reconstruct the ruins. I will continue to wait patiently as He does His work and will trust Him for it.
God Is So Good!
God is so good! God is so good! He's so good to me! Don't you love it when God meets you in the simple places. Like on the recliner in the early hours of the morning when all the kids and even the dogs are actually still asleep and you can enjoy your coffee and the peace and quiet. Especially the times when we have our own agenda of what God is obviously going to do in our preplanned meeting time with Him and then He sidetracks you to a place in His Word that penetrates your heart to the core and brings tears and repentance and renews yet again your faith and love and awe for this eternal maker. 
Headed to Romans this morning I found myself in Malachi instead. Over the past year I have been spending alot of time in the Old Testament for some reason and have enjoyed it immensely. Chapter 4 spoke so clearly to so many things that God has been whispering in my ear and I have been very good at ignoring. Today He brought me to my spiritual knees again in the areas of tithing. "Trust me in this" says the Lord. It appears to be so much easier to hold on tight to the lesser pay that has been coming in here over the past year and worldly it makes no sense to be letting it go. The deeper issue tho is my heart. Why don't I trust God with His own money? What is my biggest fear? That He won't be faithful to His very own word? Oh Lord, teach me to let go. 
"You have said 'It is futile to serve God. What will we gain by carrying out His requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty?'" Is that not what I was just whining about the other Monday morning my friend? How sweet of God to settle this so quickly in my heart. How many times do I count all the little things that nobody even seems to notice as not having any value? The encouragement, the prayers, the steadfastness, the stubborn standing on the word of God, the continuous attitude checks, the continuous training in our home, the diligence of not letting the "world" influence, the continuous battle within myself against flesh and spirit. God reminded me that He notices. He called me His treasured possession. Treasured. Just let that sink in. God's Treasured Possession. He says it makes a difference to Him and that one day He will come and make a distinction between those who are His and those who are not. 
"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings." As I was consumed with what God was telling me this morning this verse made me stop and brought me as close to tears as I ever get. A few years back a lady from our church lost her son in a horrible car accident between two friends playing chicken. For the past 5 years we have watched and prayed as she triumphantly dealt with the tragedy, struggled to trust God in it, continued her witness to her unsaved family, loved and cared for her grandsons that were spared, and longed for her son. Last week she herself was killed in a tragic car accident, leaving behind those family members not trusting in God. Kathy revered Gods name. He himself has brought righteousness with healing in its wings. She now stands before her God. Scripture goes on to say "And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall." Rejoice Kathy and dance like David before your King. He promised He would wipe away all our tears and He has now wiped away yours. As for you, dear friends, how's your heart? Are you right before your creator? Do you know the saving grace of the savior that went to the cross to spare you from God's wrath for your sins? His name is Jesus. And he says you are His treasured possession as well.
Did you know?
Did you know that God loves you?? Really, really loves you like crazy?? It's what He's been reminding me of over and over again lately and I just thought you might need a reminder too. Happy Monday!
These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name...... [I will] acknowledge that I have loved you.
From Revelation 3:7-9
Ponderings
There are so many God things that I have been continuously pondering lately. I have been enjoying reading some of Corrie ten Booms book's and am always encouraged, ashamed, and inspired by them. What a life she led for the Lord! What great trust and peace God gave to her through her trials, allowing her to share that with the world through her experiences. One of the more persistent thoughts that have been rolling around my brain has to do with God's will in our lives and where we are serving Him. One of her comments in her book "Clippings from My Notebook" really struck me last night. "I was the same Corrie ten Boom. But in the concentration camp I was in the place where God had called me, and He was my strength. Here I was not in His will, and without Him I was nothing~ I was stupid, weak, and helpless." I have had experiences of both being empowered and used by God, full of great joy, energy and clear thinking and also times of dullness, suppression, and frustration. Do those times indicate that we are out of God's will in our lives, or that He is purifying us in our sinful nature? Believing that Scripture teaches that God is sovereign over everything I know that no matter what I do, where I go, or what happens is the will of God, but are there certain ways that He directs that we choose to be dull to? And what, then, when if you're the wife and long to honor God through submission? Hmmmm..... what a marvelous God we have to intertwine all these things to somehow still present us as righteous before Him one day.
The other thing I have been pondering a lot is the word of God itself. Primarily the reason that professing Christians are straying from it. Why it is losing it's place and value even in the church, but primarily in the believers life? Psalm 119 was such a sweet reminder to me this morning of God's word and the value God himself puts on it. Why is the word not more highly valued in our lives? Why is it that we think we can twist it? Why is it that we think we have the right to choose how to discern it and what to obey in it? When did we cross over into thinking that somehow we stand above it, rather than humbly coming below it in honor of what God has to say? Why do professing Christians not bother to even read it? I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes. It is time for you to act, O Lord; your law is being broken. Because I love your commands more than gold, more than pure gold, and because I consider all your precepts right, I hate every wrong path. Psalm 119:125-128
And I loved this quote from Corrie ten Boom's book "Tramp for the Lord": "When the Bible interferes with man's theology it always causes a strain." And what is it that is so important in the Bible? It is the revealing of a just God, the creator of the universe and all that is in it, who will one day call all of us to account according to His standards. But the story doesn't end there. For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him may not perish but have eternal life. Jesus became the perfect sacrifice to cover the sins that we can never atone for. We were by nature objects of God's wrath, but because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions- it is by grace you are saved, through faith. He has done it all. He promises.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Some Meat to Chew On
My devotional time has brought me to the book of Isaiah in the Old Testament. There are just a few things in there that God has really made stick with me the last few days so I thought I'd share the conviction.
Isaiah 1:17
Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.
Isaiah 2:17 and 20
The arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear. In that day men will throw away to the rodents and the bats their idols of silver and idols of gold, which they made to worship.
Often times I still get totally wrapped up in this world and the sparkly little trinkets it has to offer. I forget about the eternal kingdom that my Father has prepared for me. This life is just a shadow, scripture says, a foretaste of what is to come. This world is the imperfect world where we do not see clearly. The day is coming when God will make all things right and Jesus will rule. In that day we will throw these treasured items to the rodents and the bats in comparison of what God has in store for His children. It makes me look a whole lot differently at what's really important.
Isaiah 2:22
Stop trusting in man, who has but breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?
How many times is it man (or woman) that we trust in for our happiness and joy? How often do we feel the right to hold a grudge or make ourselves superior to others in order to elevate ourselves? Don't we have the right to be bitter at so-and-so for days, or weeks, or months, or years for what they did or did not do to hurt MY ego? That so-and-so is a sinner just like you, dear friend. Even in the days since I have read this verse I have had to substitute so-and-so's name to remind me that it is God alone whom I should be trusting in. "Stop trusting in so-and-so to do what I want them to do to make ME happy. Start trusting in God alone. Start being the one who does what makes God happy".
Isaiah 3: 10
Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds.
And this one kind of hurt~
Isaiah 3:16-24
The Lord says, "The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles. Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the Lord will make their scalps bald. In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, the earrings and bracelets and veils, the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, the signet rings and nose rings, the fine robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses and mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls. Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding.
Hmmmm.... unless I am unlike all the other women that roam this earth I still fall under the trap of being somewhat haughty and relying way too much on good looks, cute clothes and hair-do's and all the other feminine charms. Well, unless I'm on the farm with my goats, but even then I like my mascara. Where should my focus be? Rather than on my outside it should be on my inside. Love, joy, peace, kindness, meditating on the word of God, delighting in his laws and decrees. And don't let anybody tell you nose rings aren't in the Bible. God doesn't seem to have an opinion here one way or another, other than if they are a distraction from Him. That still doesn't convince me to get one~ ouch!
And my favorite Isaiah passage~
Isaiah 6:1
... I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.
Isaiah 1:17
Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.
Isaiah 2:17 and 20
The arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day, and the idols will totally disappear. In that day men will throw away to the rodents and the bats their idols of silver and idols of gold, which they made to worship.
Often times I still get totally wrapped up in this world and the sparkly little trinkets it has to offer. I forget about the eternal kingdom that my Father has prepared for me. This life is just a shadow, scripture says, a foretaste of what is to come. This world is the imperfect world where we do not see clearly. The day is coming when God will make all things right and Jesus will rule. In that day we will throw these treasured items to the rodents and the bats in comparison of what God has in store for His children. It makes me look a whole lot differently at what's really important.
Isaiah 2:22
Stop trusting in man, who has but breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?
How many times is it man (or woman) that we trust in for our happiness and joy? How often do we feel the right to hold a grudge or make ourselves superior to others in order to elevate ourselves? Don't we have the right to be bitter at so-and-so for days, or weeks, or months, or years for what they did or did not do to hurt MY ego? That so-and-so is a sinner just like you, dear friend. Even in the days since I have read this verse I have had to substitute so-and-so's name to remind me that it is God alone whom I should be trusting in. "Stop trusting in so-and-so to do what I want them to do to make ME happy. Start trusting in God alone. Start being the one who does what makes God happy".
Isaiah 3: 10
Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds.
And this one kind of hurt~
Isaiah 3:16-24
The Lord says, "The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles. Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the Lord will make their scalps bald. In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, the earrings and bracelets and veils, the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, the signet rings and nose rings, the fine robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses and mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls. Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding.
Hmmmm.... unless I am unlike all the other women that roam this earth I still fall under the trap of being somewhat haughty and relying way too much on good looks, cute clothes and hair-do's and all the other feminine charms. Well, unless I'm on the farm with my goats, but even then I like my mascara. Where should my focus be? Rather than on my outside it should be on my inside. Love, joy, peace, kindness, meditating on the word of God, delighting in his laws and decrees. And don't let anybody tell you nose rings aren't in the Bible. God doesn't seem to have an opinion here one way or another, other than if they are a distraction from Him. That still doesn't convince me to get one~ ouch!
And my favorite Isaiah passage~
Isaiah 6:1
... I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.
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