Saturday, November 1, 2008
If I write it, I can make sense of it. Therefor, I launch full force into Romans chapter 2.
Ouch, another tough chapter. God's Righteous Judgment. I have come to the realization, if nothing else, that the further I get to know of God the more I realize how little I thought I knew. I went through an adolescent period in my Christian life where, because of good teaching, I thought I knew it all. Luckily, God has been using that solid foundation to help weed out areas of sin in my life, and bring me to see things from a different perspective. His perspective.
God has had me for the past year with no "outside" ministry, meaning I have not been involved in church. This freaks my husband out, and causes much strife in our home. I LOVE to teach, and it has been very painful for me to not be working with children (yes, I have 5 of my own, and love them dearly, but there is another special joy of children's ministry with other peoples children with my children involved) and to see the relationships I had to give up. It has thrown me into a time of depression and confusion, where I am just trusting God to glorify his name through it. This kind of learning is by far harder than book work. God has been gracious in it and as much as I long to be done with it, I am asking to be refined by it rather than be hardened by it.
One of the best parts about the past couple of years has been knowing that it is God himself who is teaching, leading, encouraging, and disciplining me. With no church head over me, I am at God's mercy for keeping the fire lit to stay in prayer and scripture and perseverance. He has done that and more, leading me to passages with messages from him, causing my spirit to trust Him even more.
Which all brings me to Romans 2. God's Righteous Judgment. The passage talks about how the Jews were so caught up in The Law, both in their own lives and others', that they totally missed the Savior and God's plan for salvation. There is a fine line here, because yes, we do have to obey God, but the sin comes when we start trusting that obedience for our salvation.
Verse 16 scared me. This [judgment] will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares. Even our motives for what we do will be brought into account. In our hearts is where Christianity is revealed. At the core, what are we depending on? Who are we trusting in for our salvation? Are we ready for eternity? It's tough to take a real look at one's life held up to the standard of the Bible. I fall miserably short. But, Good News is yet to come. God's kindness leads you toward repentance.