Pictures of Remembrance

On my agenda for the past couple of years has been the project of tackling the transformation of the upstairs hallway. The orange shag carpeting has been torn out for quite some time and revealed decent, although characteristically unlevel, old house wooden floors. The lathe and plaster walls were repaired, then recently painted a neutral beige color and an appropriate border has been picked out and is just waiting to be installed. Family pictures were next. I have been purposely avoiding this part of the project. Part of me wants to see the walls plastered with all those smiling little faces, but the other part of me hasn't wanted to dig through the pictures to decide which ones to use.

Do you use all pre-accident photos, or acknowledge that life has been forced to go on and everybody else is two years older and use recent photos? Do you change them out every year, allowing the glaring reality that Trent's picture never changes to be the first thing you wake up to every morning? And then there's the actual event of digging through the archived pictures: the horse rides, the football games, the reminders of the breakfasts in bed that you never got a picture of.

Grief steals so much. More-so than just the person you are grieving, it steals your very self. It steals the mother, sister, wife, aunt, friend that you used to be. It drives you to the brink of insanity where you really don't think that just going over the edge of it would be so bad. It steals even the ability to think rationally. You start to forget that this life is a mist and heaven goes on for an eternity. Everything brings tears, even two years later.

The anniversary is over and Trent's birthday has just passed. Dear friends sent cards and emails, as well as called and visited. I cried over the ones who did, and the ones who didn't. The sweet, painful emotion of being loved well~ there are not adequate words to express how that feels.

I continuously tell God that I am so tired of crying. I can barely begin the words of a cohesive prayer anymore because all I do is lament and weep. There are no more words. My brain is exhausted by the work of searching out the glory of God in this (Proverbs 25:2NKJ). God knows my heart, He knows the depth of this agony. He has allowed a quiet hush to hover over me. A time of rest in my soul. A time of waiting as His work is being done. Simply "being" in Him. There doesn't always have to be answers to the questions.

So I went through the pictures. I relived life when there were five children smiling back at me on a computer screen all the way through life when there were only four. I sorted, debated, and created personal collages for each person in our family.

I chose the Roseman Bridge, where Trent's ashes were spread, for my collage. Pictures where I opened my hand and let go, let go of my son, let go of myself and my plans. Pictures of remembrance that mark in computer generated options my surrender to God, my attempt of the resurrection of an altar as the prophets of old used to build: an everlasting reminder of when God abundantly poured out His grace and along with it a great measure of hope. When He revealed Himself and allowed me to see and love Him more, and especially long for Him more, despite the great cost.

Bible Study ~ Genesis 12-13

Genesis 12-13 

Who is it about? God or us? Who did you learn more about ?

Genesis 12:1-3 God calls Abram and blesses him with the promise of Christ.

God chose Abram (Isaiah 41:8; Matthew 22:14; Luke 23:35; John 15:19; 1 Peter 1:20 1 Peter 2:0) from among his fellow idolaters that he might reserve a people for himself. By moving him from his country, Abram was tried whether he loved God better than all. With this command, God calls Abram to begin a journey of faith that is marked by complete dependence upon God and God's promise. This is not an easy thing for Abram. The things he must leave are mentioned in order of increasing level of intimacy: "Go forth from your country, your relatives, and your closest family." Abram must leave all he holds dear and trust God to guide him in a new land.

The command God gave to Abram is much the same as the gospel call (natural affection for our ways must give way to Divine grace, sin and all the occasions of it must be forsaken, a promise of greatness fulfilled in Christ, blessings for obedience, all sustained by God's sovereign grace for his glory).

God's promises to Abram:

-I will make you into a great nation. (Literally, Abram would be the father of a great nation.)

-I will bless you. (Obedient believers will inherit a blessing/somewhat here/more-so an eternal blessing/blessings here are a foretaste of what is to come/encouragement to continue until we see Jesus face to face.)

-I will make your name great. (Book of life/the name of obedient believers shall certainly be made great/ “Shine like stars” Philippians 2:14-16)

-You will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you/All people on earth will be blessed through Abram. (The greatest blessing to come through Abram would be that of Jesus Christ/Eventually through Abram came the Savior, the Bible and the gospel/Galatians 3:8.)

-Whoever curses you I will curse. (God will take care of Abram/all believers-sometimes not until eternity will it be “made right.”)

God allowed Abram to believe that the blessing of the Almighty would make up for all he could lose or leave behind, supply all his wants, and answer and exceed all his desires. He knew that nothing but misery would follow disobedience.

 

 *Do you believe that? Understand that? Explain.

Such believers, being justified by faith in Christ, have peace with God. They are not discouraged by the difficulties in their way, nor drawn away by the delights they meet with. What we undertake, in obedience to God's command, and in humble attendance on his providence, will certainly succeed and end with comfort at last.

Genesis 12:4-9 Abram departs from Haran, journeys through Canaan,

and worships God in that land.

Canaan was not a mere outward possession, but a type of heaven – the promised land that foreshadowed the real heaven to come (Hebrews 11:16). He journeyed through the country as a stranger, as a sojourner in this world. He continued to draw nearer to God through prayer – God revealed himself numerous times to Abram – Abram built alters of remembrance along the way.

*What “alter of remembrance” have you built to God? Have you seen and/or remembered His grace?

Genesis 12:10-20 Abram is driven by a famine into Egypt, he feigns his wife to be his sister.

Because of a famine, Abram brings his family to Egypt. This passage reveals Abram's “humanness” - although God has already appeared to him twice, he had just received great promises, and had experienced God's faithfulness he fell through unbelief and distrust of the Divine providence. He not only chose to sin, but led his wife, his attendants, and the Egyptians to sin also.

God reveals himself by delivering Abram out of his sin. God deals with his children not based on our actions, but based on his purposes and mercy all for his glory.

 

*How does this situation reveal God's glory? (God makes it clear that it is God's sovereignty, and not human initiative, that will bring the people of God into existence, God did not allow Pharaoh to hurt Abram's family, God exposed Abram's sin and granted him repentance, God kept Abram alive and continued His promises through a sinful man to reveal how deep His mercy and forgiveness goes, reveals that God's plans are not thwarted by our actions, a Christian will never fall beyond grace because it is God Himself who sustains them, points ultimately to the cross where forgiveness is found through Jesus Christ).

Genesis 13:1-4

Abram came out of Egypt very rich. The Hebrew word for rich is “heavy.” Habakkuk 2:6 says that those who will be rich load themselves with thick clay. Riches are a burden because of the care in getting them, the fear in keeping them, the temptation in using them, the guilt in abusing them, the sorrow in losing them, and the burden of giving an account to God for them in the end.(Mark 10:23-24)

*In America we strive to become rich – how can financial prosperity be a hindrance or blessing?

Yet God, in His providence, made Abram rich without sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). If prosperity is well managed it can be an opportunity to do more good than otherwise possible. In the midst of his riches, we still see Abram dependent on God and calling on his name. You may as soon find a living man without breath as one of God's people without prayer.

Genesis 13:5-9

Because of their overwhelming riches and animal stock, there was not enough room in the land for both of them (Abram and Lot). Quarrels, lying and slandering began with the servants, which was only made worse because they dwelt in the land inhabited by the Canannites and Perizzites- these quarrels would cause a reproach of their religion, and God's name. Abram wisely sought to solve the dilemma quickly. Although he was the elder and the greater of the two men, he yielded his first rights of the choice land to Lot in order to keep the peace. He understood that ultimately there was a greater land coming.

Lot, being selfish and choosing with the lust of his eyes, picked the fertile, fruitful land. Rather than looking to the morals of the country. The men of Sodom were impudent, daring sinners. This was the iniquity of Sodom: pride, fulness of bread, and an abundance of idleness (Ezekiel 16:49). God often gives great plenty to great sinners.

Those who, in choosing relations, callings, dwellings, or settlements, are guided and governed by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, or the pride of life, cannot expect God's presence or blessing. They are commonly disappointed even in that which they principally aim at. In all our choices this principle should rule, That is best for us, which is best for our souls.

 

*How do you tend to make decisions? By that which is pleasing to you, or pleasing to God?

 

 

Commentary quoted from:http://www.christnotes.org/commentary.php?com=mhc&b=1&c=12 http://www.christnotes.org/commentary.php?com=mhc&b=1&c=13 http://www.theocentric.com/theology/gospel/the_gospel_in_genesis.html

 

Bible Study Credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Trent's Story

On Friday February 18, 2011, God did the unthinkable in our life: He chose to take our 12-year-old son, Trent, home to heaven in a skiing accident.
It is only considered “the unthinkable” because our plans are not God’s plans, and our ways are not God’s ways.

Before Trent was born we had entrusted the Lord with his life and had asked Him, above all else, to bring salvation to our son. Our greatest desire was that he would be used in a mighty way for God’s glory, and that God would let him dwell in heaven for eternity.

God answered our prayers that Friday in a mightier way than we could have imagined, and we have been rejoicing in His good works and His mercies ever since.

Trent was a boy who truly lived. From the very beginning he did what he loved and enjoyed to the full the gifts and skills that God had given him. In his short life he saw much of this world, traveling as far as India, the Bahamas, Bass Pro Shop in Missouri where he explored his favorite destination on his golden birthday, as well as many family camping trips. God instilled a love of hunting and fishing in Trent, and a joy of the great outdoors. Since he was little all he wanted was to turn 12 to be able to go deer hunting. During his 12th year God allowed him to shoot two deer. Trent loved to pick on his siblings Alexis, Cole, Grace, and Micah, to protect his mother, to snuggle with his father, and to be with his friends, especially his best friends: Thomas and Samuel. He tried everything that interested him, even carving his own long bow and succeeding in taxidermy. In his short years he lived life to the fullest.

But as we are all destined to, Trent also died. On Friday, February 18, 2011, we said goodbye to our son as he left for a skiing trip with his friends, not knowing that he would never be coming back home. God says that He knows the number of our days, that He has created each one, and that He will do what He pleases (Psalm 115:3; Job14:5).

God’s standards to enter His kingdom are high: He expects perfection. Trent was not perfect, not even close. God graciously provided His perfect Son, Jesus Christ, as the atonement for our sinfulness and requires that we simply believe and acknowledge Him for it. 

For most of his life Trent struggled with his own sinfulness before God. He knew that he was not right before God, and nothing he could do would ever make up for the sins he had committed to make him worthy to enter heaven. In the spring of 2010, God graciously chose to bring salvation to Trent through repentance and the saving grace of Christ Jesus. Trent’s life was transformed and we enjoyed the young fruit in his life as we watched God work.

It was with great peace and much rejoicing, then, that we as his family have sent him off before us and accepted God’s perfect plan for Trent’s life. Our longing is that God would be glorified in what He has done to wake up many to the realization that we are not guaranteed any number of years in this world (Psalm 39:4-5).

On Friday morning we had our son; on Friday afternoon he was gone.

What we have asked so many people since the accident is: “What if it had been you? Where would you be right now?”

We diligently raised Trent up to know his sinful state and taught him what the Word of God says because we know the implications of denying Christ now, and God was gracious to answer our prayers and to save him. Scripture says that the gospel will go forth with much sorrow and heartache. Please let Trent’s short life be a wake-up call to you. We are rejoicing in the sorrow because we know where our son is and that we will one day be with him again for eternity because of our own salvation.

God's mercies are new every day and His peace does surpass all understanding (Lamentations 3:22-23; Philippians 4:6-7). God has been so gracious to us by blessing us first of all with His peace in His perfect plan. The family and friends who have surrounded us and have lifted us up in prayer are amazing and another testimony to God’s goodness.

It is with great rejoicing that we release our son, Trent, age 12, to our Heavenly Father. Dance before your King, my son.

The Romans road to salvation:
Romans 3:23; 3:10-18; 6:23; 5:8; 10:9; 10:13; 5:1; 8:1; 8:38-39

Bible Study~ Genesis 3-4

Genesis 3-4

*Who is it about? God or us?

*When did the Fall of Man happen? How/why was Satan in the form of a serpent? What was Satan's deception? (To twist the word of God-to indicate that God might have been wrong) Why did he go to Eve first? (1 Timothy 2:12-15) Where was Adam? Was God still in control of His creation when Adam and Eve ate the fruit? (Yes- Revealed by the fact that it is God who decides on the punishment.)

*God's curses because of the Fall: Cursed is the opposite of blessed. In Genesis God promised blessings for obedience, curses for disobedience. (Genesis 1:22&28; Deuteronomy 28)

First to the serpent: Verses 3:14-15 (cross reference Revelation 12) Represents a judgment against all who have sinned, even the serpent (Romans 3:23/All have sinned). Also an indication that Satan will be defeated, although not immediately. (Jesus' heel was “struck” on the cross; Satan's head crushed-Revelation 13:3) “All the days of your life,” implies that Satan's life has been extended to fulfill God's plan of salvation through the offspring of the woman (and ultimately through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus).

The gospel is first presented to Satan pointing to his defeat and Christ's victory (Isaiah 53:12; Luke 24:26, 46-47; Romans 16:20; 2 Cor 1:5-7; Col 1:24; 1Peter 1:11; Rev 20:10). A promise was made to mankind that enmity (hostility) would be place between the woman and the serpent/ the saved and unsaved/those who love God and those who don't. How is that a promise? (She was given a change of heart- she would despise the serpent- God's grace of salvation.)

Second curse to the woman: Verses 3:16, (Pain in childbirth, longing to rule over her husband). Submission prior to the fall was a pleasant position- Adam was to protect his wife/reflection of the trinity and Christ's role of submission. After the fall it would be a great burden and longing for her to rule over her husband, ultimately causing marital issues, men to not act as men/leaders, etc.. (Judges 4; Isaiah 3:12; Ephesians 5:22-25; Amos 4:1) Represents her loss of freedom and spiritual liberty~ she would be under bondage; the dominion of sin in the soul is compared to that of a husband ruling her.

Third curse was to the man: Verses 3:17-19. God can not spare passing judgment. The earth that was blessed is now cursed, resulting in toil in working it. It was cursed because of man's sin. Adam was not cursed himself as the serpent was, but instead the ground was cursed for his sake. The result was sickness, melancholy, sorrow, and ultimately death in various shapes (everything dies-dreams, plans, plants, animals, people).

The righteousness of God is to be acknowledged in all the sad consequences of sin-- remembering “how it was/how it should be” causes us to reflect on the God who will one day make it all perfect again. God's mercy is seen in vs. 19: the fact that they would still eat though it would be through sorrow-there would still be some joy. There is even the hope of death as a rest which brings the promise of relief from the curse. Man's days were cut short~ a mercy from God. Prior to the Fall, all mankind would have been allowed to enter heaven (under the pretext of never sinning), Adam's curse reveals the difficulty now of entering heaven.

Verse 3:21

• God made garments of skin for Adam and Eve. Before the Fall there was no death. God presented the first sacrifice representing the Levitical sacrificial system to later be implemented, and ultimately pointing to the sacrifice for sinners of His own son, Jesus.

Verse 22-24

Adam and Eve were drove out of the garden by God himself. Why? (To protect them from eating of the tree of life and living forever under the curse of sin/never being able to receive a resurrected body.) Cherubim were placed at the gate with flaming swords that flashed back and forth to guard the garden. Do you think the Garden of Eden is still there today?

*Chapter 4 ~ Eve gave birth to her firstborn, a son. The curse has begun already evidenced by the hostility of ungodly Cain and godly Able. Why was Cain so upset about God's response to his offering? Was it the offering that God did not accept, or his heart attitude? (Both, God specifically required a blood sacrifice but Cain brought vegetation; he was not saved, therefor his offering could not be accepted by God.)

Just because somebody seeks to sincerely worship God does not mean that God accepts the sacrifice. Does this seem “cruel” of God? Does God owe us salvation? Cain was to be his “brother's keeper,” but instead he became his brother's murderer.

Sin always needs to be punished. What was Cain's punishment? (vs 4:11-12, under a curse, driven from the ground, the ground will no longer yield its crops [remember Cain was a farmer, the punishment was very close to his heart], he would become a restless wanderer.) Out of Cain, a wicked lineage of people began, setting the stage for the battle between the ungodly and the righteous, and making clearer the obvious need for a Savior.

With prayers that the gospel of Jesus Christ may become sweeter to you day by day as you reflect on His word and His grace to you as a sinner ~ Terri

 

Bible Study Credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

On the Hard Days

That day, when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”

Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat.

There were also other boats with him.

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.

Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him,

“Teacher, don't you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves,

“Quiet! Be still!”

Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other,

“Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

Mark 4:35-41

Dates on a calender should not have the power to have so much control over a persons life. For nearly four decades I was able to enjoy the month of February. It always brought with it Valentines Day, chocolate hearts and cards, and the hope of warmer weather to come. Now the days bring paralyzing grief, a return of tears that won't end, and a flood of memories. I thought goat deliveries and baby chicks would help speed the days and consume me with busyness, but they have only proven to be too bitter-sweet to enjoy.

{Jesus} said to His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40

I've been reading through the gospels again, my second round in our ninety day New Testament marathon; my anchor of sanity, the words that keep my soul focused.

Do I still have no faith? Rob reminded me that having faith doesn't mean that you don't have tears. Heart wrenching, sobbing, curled up next to the toilet tears. Begging Jesus to meet you there, on that tile floor, so that you can get up, start the day and tend to your other children kind of tears.

The second year is harder, ladies. I've hesitated to write that since I know many of you haven't even finished the first year yet. Satan does a doozey of a job to thwart the plans of God and twist whatever hope is left after the first twelve months of grief.

The kids and I have been reading John Bunyan's book, The Holy War,this week (it's a required assignment, otherwise our children do not usually gladly endure sitting through fifty-five pages a day of Old English language). My eyes have been opened, once again, to the fact that there is a battle raging – a battle for souls. Night terrors, in a girl too big to be scared of the boogey man, only revealed it again. The power of prayer reminds us of who wins in the end.

Randy Alcorn, in his book Heaven, talks about the liar of all lies, the great deceiver that masquerades as an angel of light dulling our minds to the reality of eternity:

“Our enemy slanders three things: God's person, God's people, and God's place – namely Heaven.

What better way for the devil and his demons to attack us than to whisper lies about the very place on which God tells us to set our heart and minds?

Satan need not convince us that Heaven doesn't exist, He need only convince us that Heaven is a place of boring, unearthly existence. If we believe that lie, we'll be robbed of our joy and anticipation, we'll set our minds on this life, and not the next, and we won't be motivated to share our faith. Why should we share the 'good news' that people can spend an eternity in a boring, ghostly place that even we're not looking forward to?

{Satan} cannot keep Christ from defeating him, but he can persuade us that Christ's victory is only partial, that God will abandon his original plan for mankind and the earth. Because Satan hates us, he's determined to rob us of the joy we'd have if we believed what God tells us about the magnificent world to come....

Sitting here in a dark world, we must remind ourselves what Scripture tells us about Heaven. We will one day be delivered from blindness that separates us from the real world. We'll realize then the stupefying bewitchment we've lived under. By God's grace, may we ... clearly see the liberating truth about Christ the King and Heaven, his Kingdom.”

I wonder, as Jesus sat in that boat with His disciples – the God man who lived not by His own power but by God's, the maker of Heaven and Earth itself – how He had the patience to not rap these men upside the head. They had walked with him, seen the miracles, heard the promises. Yet, so easily, like us, they got flustered at the first test.

God seems to “step away” sometimes in suffering, and makes us depend on His Word alone. Is it sufficient? Will we hinge everything on it? Do we allow it to sustain us? The splitting of hairs is so fine, our sin runs so deep, our understanding of God is so shallow.

We demand of Him, “Give me grace, do it my way, don't let it hurt.”But the hurt reveals. It reveals what we cling to. It reveals that we have not fully surrendered to Christ as King and Lord, sovereign of all, over every aspect of our lives. It reveals that we really don't think He's capable when we are honest with ourselves; that He may not have a master plan in all of this.

But it wasn't until the winds were blowing the hardest, the squall was in its most furious state, and the waves had finally broken over the boat that the disciples bothered to wake Jesus, and in desperation cried out for a Savior.

“The honest cries of a broken heart are better than a hallelujah,” sings Amy Grant. Pain brings honesty that can't be faked. It brings an opportunity to cry out to God. It forces us to figure out who He really is.

Crying on the floor, begging for rather than demanding grace, acknowledging God's perfect ways, waiting for my Savior to quiet the storm, and longing like I've never before longed for Heaven … reminding myself that the glory to be revealed will not even be worth comparing to this trial (Romans 8:18) that this life is as a mist (James 4:14), that my days are numbered (Psalm 39:4), and that my God is fully capable to see me through to the end (Isaiah 46:4), even through the second anniversary date.

“Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!” Mark 4:41

Bible Study ~ Genesis 1-2

Genesis 1-2

*Who is it about? God or us? Who did you learn more about as you studied this passage?

Creation – God took chaos and made it order – He spoke the world into existence –

Genesis 1:16b “He also made the stars.”

*Who is the “us?” Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image.”

Triune God- Trinity - God the Father; God the Son; God the Holy Spirit

Father: Creator

Jesus: John 1:1-3 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

Holy Spirit: Genesis 1:2 “the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.”Psalm 33:6-7

“By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath [Spirit] of His mouth.” See also Isaiah 45:8

*What did Jesus do before the creation of the world?

1. Fellowship with God – John 17:5 “And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.”

2. Creating angels – Job 38:4, 7 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand . . . while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?”

 Fall of Satan: “The devil was certainly created before the creation of the world. Job 38:4-7 tells us that when the foundation of the earth was laid, "the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy." These were the heavenly beings and the devil had certainly already been created.”

 3. Planning for the Church. Ephesians 3:9 “and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery (Church), which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things.”

4. Adopting us into His family – Ephesians 1:4 “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will”

5. Preparing for the future Kingdom – Matthew 25:34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ’Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”

6. Providing salvation for the world – 1 Peter 1:18-20 “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.”

*Why did God create the world? For His own glory-revealed specifically in Jesus/Gospel/Salvation/He will be praised for eternity. Scripture teaches us that God created the world and all that is in it to portray His own glory – to put His glory on display-. We are the “audience” of that glory. Psalm 19:1f; 8:1; 50:6; 89:5

*Why did God create man? To be image bearers of God Himself- reflectors/mirrors reflecting God.

This earth is temporary – God will one day create the New Heaven to be permanently established on earth, without the curse, for those who are saved in Christ.

Revelation 21:1-4

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

With Commentary help from: http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/creation-redeeming-chaos-nelson-lin-sermon-on-creation-173398.asp and http://www.learnthebible.org/when-was-satan-created.html

 

Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Bible Study ~ James 5:7-18

James 5:7-18

*Who is it about? Us or God? What did you learn about God in this passage?

*James opens by encouraging the believers to stand firm and wait patiently (vs.7-11) - wait patiently for what? (For Jesus' return when all will be made right; he warns/encourages them about the judgment to come.)

*James makes the shift from swearing, to its opposite: praying (vs.12). He instructs the believers when to pray: in times of trouble, when they're happy, sick, etc. – they should pray in all circumstances.

*James instructs the believers to call upon the elders of the church for prayer. In the previous passages he just finished warning them about their actions towards each other (favoritism, bitter envy, slander, quarrels, etc.). This command to pray together would mean that there would need to be unity and submission in the church body, which would unleash the power of believers praying together (Matthew 18:19-20; John 15:7-17).

*They should pray in the name of the Lord Jesus which is another expression of submission. It is acknowledging God's right to be God, and allowing Him to do what He wants according to His ways, not ours. How do you usually pray? Wanting God to give you what you want? Or asking for what He wants?

*They should pray in faith, not doubting God's good will, and not demanding of God, but accepting what He gives as the answer.

*They should confess their sins, which would be evidence of repaired relationships. “As a first result of their hardships, their relationship with God has been suffering. They are falling into temptation to doubt God (1:6), to blame God (1:13) and to bargain with God (5:12). James is directing them back to God in faith with a reliance on him in prayer.” Is repentance and confession hard for you to do in front of others?

* “A second result of their adversities is that their relationships with each other have been suffering... He points out the oneness we have with each other because of our common need for forgiveness. If we consciously stand together before God as sinners needing grace and wanting righteousness, that stance has compelling application to our relationships. Instead of judging each other, we will be driven to confess to each other. Instead of desiring to place guilt on each other, we will become eager to forgive each other. Instead of moving to criticize, we will move to intercede for each other. ((Explain)) This, too, James learned from Jesus (Mt 5:23-24; 6:12-15; 7:1-5).”

“This is the message of grace. God gives good gifts because he is full of compassion and mercy. Grace is the element in God's character which James wants his readers to know with absolute confidence. The Christian can be patient in suffering and consider trials pure joy because of the assurance that God will give wonderfully good gifts even through the hardships. Fundamental for Christian practice is Christian belief.

 

*What is the truth about God? Is he this God of grace or not? We are called over and over in James's letter to believe this truth – believe it, believe it, believe it. And then act accordingly. Put belief into practice by being patient in the endurance of suffering.”

Commentary help from: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Instead-Be-Patient

Bible Study credit: Terri Stellrecht http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Bible Study ~ James 4:11-5:6

James 4:11-5:6

*Who is it about? Who should we learn more about? Us or God?

*Who is James talking to? (Professing believers, but by their actions they did not look like believers.)

*In verses 4:4-6 James impresses upon his readers the importance and urgency of the decision to follow Christ. He writes with “a stronger conviction of the seriousness of sin than most of us are willing to hold.” Did they want friendship with God or friendship with the world?

*Verses 4-6 emphasizes God's requirements of Christians/ explains what a Christian would look like. He challenges them to search their hearts and know where they are with God. This begins with repentance, and is only achieved through grace from God.

* “James has a problem: his readers are being corrupted by bitter envy and selfish ambition leading to fights and quarrels. He has a goal: to help them learn to live in love and at peace with each other. Therefore he has a prescription for them: repentance.” Rather than judging others, we should remember God's rightful judgment and mercy towards forgiven sinners, and extend the same to others.

* “To what extent is your life directed by the knowledge that Christ is coming back?” Much of our thinking and behavior is shaped by what we can see of present circumstances or past events. Yet Scripture speaks forcefully of Christ's return as a fact that should be directing how we live now. Christians are to be motivated by the certainty of this future event.

*How would your life look differently if you really believed that Jesus was coming back tonight in righteous judgment?

 

With commentary help from :http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Dont-You-Know-Choice-Be-Made and http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Patience-Until-Lords-Coming

 

Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Bible Study~ Philippians 2:1-11

“Do Something”   Philippians 2:1-11

Paul is writing from jail - talking about suffering for the sake of the gospel.

He is urging the believers to have unity and love for each other, and especially with God. He is encouraging them to accept suffering and humble circumstances in this life, and to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility to consider others better than yourselves.” (verse 2:3)

In chapter 1, Paul has explained to them that nothing matters in this life more than the gospel of Jesus Christ being made known, and for that sake, it is worthy of enduring anything to know it and have it preached (verse 1:18). He acknowledges that fellowship with Christ is fellowship in His suffering.

Paul points to Jesus Christ as the ultimate example of endurance in the face of suffering. “He humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!” (verse 2:8) “Therefor God exalted him to the highest place” in heaven. (verse 2:9)

*Who is it about? Us or God? (Biblical teaching should always be about God -His glory,etc.- not us.)

*What is the gospel? (That Jesus Christ, the son of God, took our sins upon himself on the cross as the atonement to satisfy the wrath of God for those who would believe in Him.)

*Why is the most important thing to have the gospel made known?

*What did Felix Baumgartner's “leap of faith” accomplish? What will its results be in eternity? For God's glory?

1 Peter 1:24 “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fail, but the word of the Lord stands forever.”

*What should Christians strive after (this world's glory or God's glory)?

John 6:28-29

They replied, "What does God want us to do?"

Jesus told them, "This is what God wants you to do: Believe in the one he has sent."

*Why would professing Christians tend to not be excited about Heaven? Do you look forward to the glory of Heaven, or do you tend to look to this world to satisfy?

 

Bible study credits: Terri Stellrecht http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

To Wrestle Like Jacob



Six below is the predicted high for the day here in Wisconsin. Which means that, at least twice a day, we get to bundle up and brave the elements to care for our menagerie of critters. Enduring a nearly eighty degree difference in temperature, and a frozen water spicket, all for the sake of having some home grown beef in our freezer. The thought of a little corner lot in town with a plastic goldfish floating in a bowl has become appealing and common dinner conversation as of late. Or at least goat farming in the Bahamas. There must be a need for handmade soaps and milking Nubian does somewhere in the Atlantic region.

To pass the time of these cold days we work on home school: adverbs and adjectives, transitive and intransitive verbs, algebra and phonics. Character and self-control are highest on our list of curriculum in four young souls (not to mention my own), and seems to be the subject that constantly demands the most attention. Two teenagers and two middle schoolers in one old farmhouse in January makes for many opportunities of growth, and throw in there the dog that constantly needs in and out, in and out, always just as you've settled nicely into the recliner. Each with our own strenths and weaknesses, as iron sharpens iron, we go on .....

Winter is also a time for quilting. Somehow, I have gotten four baby boy quilts behind in my gift giving this past year. Three tops are ready to be stretched and sewed together, with more quilt patterns running through my brain than I could attempt to sew all year long. It's been nearly two years since I could even think of quilting. I'm not sure if that's the first glimpse of the healing they say comes eventually in grief. If it is I think that's why I resist it so; I never want to be healed of missing my son and thinking this is normal. So I sew between the tears.

And cry over hatching chicks. Chicks that haven't hatched in an incubator in my dining room for nearly those same two years. The pipping hole found me crumpled on the cherry laminate next to the table while the house was quiet and the sun hadn't peeked out yet. Crying as I longed for feather legged chickens like the one's we picked up a week before the accident. Crying because there might not be feathered legs, crying because I'm tired of waiting for eternity to begin.

As I often do when I need solid encouragement of Scripture, I searched for the Desiring God blog, and found Jon Bloom's post on Jacob's time of wrestling with God to be so applicable.

"And what changed him from fearing man to trusting God’s word was prolonged and painful wrestling with God. Sometimes, in your battle with unbelief, your greatest Ally will wrestle you — he might even make you limp — until you’re desperate ... "

I have felt like Jacob lately, battling so hard and then struck where I am most vulnerable. Struck by rejection. Struck by pride. Struck by sick goats. Struck by grief, every morning being greeted with the fresh reality that my son is not here. Struck by complacency, and apathy, and the mind boggling, numbing, stuffing inability to discern what really matters. Struck where it hurts the most, because where it hurts the most is where I need to be sanctified the most.

There is so much of "me" left. The pain reveals where Christ is not yet ruling. Where I still expect something else to satisfy. Where I still refuse for Jesus to be enough.

After I've cried the tears, and realized the beauty of the battle is that the end result will eventually produce a harvest of righteousness and peace (Hebrews 12:11), I raise my hands in defeat. I can no longer struggle as Jacob did and demand more from God. My strength has been drained from the energy it has taken to resist Him thus far.

Instead, I accept the blessing that has already been given: the blessing of suffering.

Bible Study ~ James 3-4

James 3-4

*"James has been revealing the sins of the people, now he presents them with an important and urgent choice: friendship with the God or friendship with the world."

- What wisdom in 3:17-18 do you really admire? Would your life be described more accurately by verse 17 or 18? Do you want God or the world?

* “The seriousness of the alternatives is made clear with shocking terms: you adulterous people, hatred toward God, an enemy of God (James 4:4)."

*Who is he addressing? Christians or non-Christians?
“It all sounds so offensive that we are tempted to think he must be addressing non-Christians rhetorically.

Here, however, he must be addressing his Christian readers, for his immediate message is still too closely connected to the hypocritical wisdom and the fights and quarrels among you from 3:13 and 4:1. But he is again warning those who call themselves Christians that they may be false Christians who are really enemies of God. James simply writes with a stronger conviction of the seriousness of sin than most of us are willing to hold. In fact he writes with a sense of moral outrage.” - Search your hearts.

*"Altogether, the paragraph of 4:4-6 emphasizes God's requirement of Christians: "a total, unreserved, unwavering allegiance" to God rather than to the world. It equally emphasizes that this requirement is not an achievement by which the proud can earn God's friendship, for the call to devotion is based on God's extension of grace to the humble. " Explain:

*"James has a problem: his readers are being corrupted by bitter envy and selfish ambition leading to fights and quarrels. He has a goal: to help them learn to live in love and at peace with each other. Therefore he has a prescription for them: repentance.”

*"Along with the presentation of this choice comes a pair of promises to encourage James's readers. The devil . . . will flee from you (verse 7-10). Meanwhile, God . . . will come near to you.”

*Conclusion: Our lives reveal our hearts. They reveal if the Holy Spirit is working in our souls or not. Salvation cannot be attained through works, but God grants it through grace and forgiveness in Jesus Christ; it is evidenced through our actions. When we are granted repentance, and resist the devil, we are allowed to come near to God, and He in turn comes near to us.

With commentary from: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Dont-You-Know-Choice-Be-Made

Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Reading Between the Lines

An hour and a half in bed, refusing to be real. Too lazy to get my bum down on my knees to bow before my Creator, and instead settling for prayers full of apathy. Tears cried into my coffee cup until it is too cold to drink. Repentance and the first two chapters of Hebrews later, plus several cross references, before the peace settles.

Jesus, the One I have never seen with my eyes yet my soul has never not known, the radiance of God's glory, the Maker of the heavens. The Savior, who was made a little lower than the angels for a time until He would be crowned with glory and everything would be put under his feet, was perfected by suffering under the hand of his Father, that He might become the perfect atonement for sinful man.

I am not good at enduring. Perseverance does not thrill me. Running, controlling, knowing now, hurry up would be better. Scripture puts my unspoken, scattered, and pain-filled emotions into perspective.

“Because He himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Hebrews 2:18

The overflowing of honesty spills out when I read between the lines: I suffer when I am tempted to be held in bondage by others' approval and allow them control over me, rather than walking in God's ways. The cords of that bondage are strong in a current situation. Chokingly strong. Maybe they choke because they reveal my hard heart; maybe it's not choking but gagging over sin that I don't want revealed. Or maybe it is a blaring warning sign that I can't clearly decipher through the masquerading words of truth.

“Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.” Hebrews 3:1

My eyes have not been fixed on Jesus lately in this situation, I have instead let them stray. I have chosen to wallow in the pain of the seen, rather than looking to the High Priest whom I confess.

“{Jesus} was faithful to the one who appointed him.” Hebrews 3:2a

What did Jesus do in His suffering? He was faithful to the Father, the very one who found it fitting to allow His suffering. For the greater glory, for the joy of being seated at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven, for the throne that would be ruled with a scepter of righteousness and could only be conquered through the death of a perfect sacrifice, to ransom His own, to glorify His Father, He focused his eyes on eternity.

“I will put my trust in Him.” Hebrews 2:13b/Isaiah 8:17

 

Jesus put His trust in God. What a simple concept. To merely trust Jesus until I see Him face to face. To endure what He calls me to endure. To do it willingly as I attempt to train my heart to do the same and look forward to that glory. To fall on grace alone, accepting the proficiency of the solitary power of the Holy Spirit, and continuing to disregard any of my attempts of accomplishing His finished work of salvation on my own. To praise God for failure, so that mercy can be realized.

A Returning

Words have returned, what a refreshing welcome to lay down the consuming thoughts that insist on swirling in my brain, to give them a place to reside and rest, to relieve my heart from carrying them. The camera has hardly been thought of lately, maybe God will choose to restore that soon, too.

I have discovered recently that as hard as enduring the physical separation of grief is, the unknowing of heaven itself is almost as difficult.

“Where are you, Trent?” The first words whispered while I stood next to that emergency room bed nearly two years ago. The joke between my son and I for months prior to the accident. The thoughts that won't be settled in my mind until I see paradise firsthand.

Heaven, where the glory of God is seen in its full. Where we will be welcomed onto the throne with Jesus himself. Where every tear, and every sin, will be wiped away. Where multitudes of angels dwell. Where Paul saw the inexpressible things that man is not permitted to tell. Where martyrs under the alter are crying out, “How long, Oh Lord?” The same plea I cry every morning.

The slow insanity of grief comes in the everyday trickling of “normal.” Trying to make this world the normal when Scripture says it is the temporary. Hebrews 2:14-15 tells us that Jesus shared in our humanity, the children of flesh and blood, so that by His death the power of death- that is, the devil- would be destroyed. He freed His children from the very fear of death; a fear that holds us in slavery.

To think, this very day, that my son is before this Savior while I am consumed by living here. The mortgage has to be paid, there are three meals to plan and prepare again, farm chores to be attended to, little people to love, all while so much pain and suffering is evident all around me, lost souls are everywhere, eternities are looming.

The Gift

After Trent's accident, we chose for him to become an organ donor. Recovering what they could, the doctors would attempt to use the opportunity to restore somebody else's broken body. I have been crying for days after receiving the news of the reality of what this gift meant: sight was restored to two individuals whom we will probably never know this side of heaven. Our son's corneas, which once saw the beauty of his world, now see for others. The radio is blaring, "No more sorrows, no more tears." I am ready and waiting for That Day.

The story is here

Bible Study ~ James 3:1-12

James 3:1-12

*Who is it (sermon/Scripture passage) about? Us or God? Explain: How is it about God? (Points to the gospel: the revealing of our sin as evidenced through our speech; revealing again our need for God's perfect son, Jesus, who died for sinful man in obedience and to the glory of God.)

*The tongue is the revealing of our soul. James 3:9-12

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

- Jesus said that the mouth speaks what is coming out of our hearts, what does that mean? (Luke 6:45)

- How important are the things that we say according to the Bible?

“We will miss the point if we do not recognize the continuity of thought between the previous section and this one. James has just given his readers a sobering picture: the certainty of judgment and their vulnerability in that judgment because of the terrible evil they do with their speech. It leads to one of the most fundamental questions of life anyone must face: How can I hope to purify my behavior (such as my speech) when it flows from my corrupt inward character? How can my heart be changed from its selfishness? Is there any hope?”

*What does your tongue reveal about your soul?

Changing our tongue/speech does not change our salvation, rather it is a revealing of the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. (John 14:23; 1 John 5:3; Psalm 119:4)

 

With commentery from: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Spirituality-God

Bible Study credits: Terri Stellrecht  http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

When Hope Survives

Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect,

that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus,

with eternal glory.

2 Timothy 2:10

I wonder, if we had one taste, one glimpse, one second of that eternal glory, how would we live differently? I wondered, too, when I read that verse this morning if Paul ever endured the heart-wrenching pain of grief for the sake of the gospel. It's easy to lump grief into the "everything" category of that one sentence; living it is harder.

To "endure everything for the sake of the elect." Trying desperately to grasp the depth of that statement, and find hope in it, I realized that suffering becomes sweeter when I remember that now John has an eternal glory to look forward to because God opened his eyes and has allowed him to lead his family towards Christ; how Anne and Traci's kids have mothers who have become mightier prayer warriors on behalf of their children's souls; how Sue, and Gwen and countless other mothers have found comfort and a refreshing of God's promises through our brokenness.

It's ironic, I guess, as even hope has been so hard to come by lately that I would be working on a devotional book called "When Hope Survives." God seems to be stripping me bare, so only hope in Him survives, then and only then, will I truly have something to say. There is so much of "me" left that needs to be removed. But I hold God at arms length- tired of the hurt, the tears, the pain of revealing.

Martin Luther's commentary on Romans 8:26 cut deep. "The Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."

"These are prayers which no man can describe by words, and which no one can understand except God alone. The groanings are so great that only God can rightly regard and appreciate them: as we read in Psalm 38:9: "All my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee." It is not an evil sign, but indeed the very best, if upon our petitions the very opposite happens to us. Conversely, it is not a good sign if everything is granted to us for which we pray.

The reason for this is the following: God's counsel and will tower high above our own counsel and will, as we read in Isaiah 55:8-9, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Hence, when we ask anything of God and He begins to hear us, He so often goes counter to our petitions that we imagine He is more angry with us now than before we prayed, and that He intends not to grant us our requests at all. All this God does, because it is His way to first destroy and annihilate what is in us - (our own wisdom and will) - before He gives us His gifts; for so we read in 1 Samuel 2:6: "The Lord killeth, and maketh alive; He bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up." Through this most gracious counsel He makes us fit for His gifts and works. Only then are we qualified for His works and counsels when our own plans have been demolished and our own works are destroyed and we have become purely passive in our relation to Him.

The proud (unbelievers) desire to be like God. They want to place their thoughts not under God, but next to His, just as though they were perfect (as God is). But that is much less possible than for the clay to tell the potter into what shape he should form it. So we read in Isaiah 64:8: "O Lord,Thou art our Father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." But those who have the Holy Spirit do not despair but have faith when they see that the very opposite of what they asked for happens to them. The work of God must remain hidden in any other form than that which contradicts our thinking and understanding. Thus God permitted St. Augustine to fall deeper and deeper into error, despite the prayers of his mother, in order to grant her much more in the end than she had asked. This He does with all His saints." (Commentary on Romans, Martin Luther, translated by J. Theodore Mueller, Pg. 126-127)

I sit here and cry my river of tears another morning. But finally, this morning, they come from a deeper place. A place where they are not the overflow from the high barricade that I have built around my wounded soul, but where they pour out from the demolishing of falsehood which means that God has broken through. The tears are the beginning of true hope, true endurance, and true trust in God.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

Romans 15:13

Bible Study ~ James 1:19-27

James 1:19-27

*Who is it (this passage/all of Scripture) about? (God/how He wants believers to live to portray that they belong to Christ)

* Who is James writing to? (believers)

Therefor, to understand this passage, we must first determine if we are saved (gospel/the message of salvation from our sins that is found in Jesus alone). If we find ourselves not saved, then we must consider, again, Jesus' offer of salvation.

*If we find ourselves to be saved, then how does this passage apply to our lives?

*When King David faced his times of most intense persecution and danger, he frequently prayed a rather impressive request. On his heart was his need not merely for protection from his attackers but, even more, for protection from sin. (Psalm 25:4-5, 20-21) (Psalm 141:3-4)

*It was a kind of praying we Christians need to learn: not just "Lord, keep me safe," but "Lord, keep me pure," because we abhor sin even more than suffering.
This is the need the apostle James saw for the young Christians who had been scattered by persecution. He wrote in loving concern to strengthen them for clear-headed moral courage even when others were doing evil and even when that evil was being done against them.

*But James is not merely a moralist. A moralist has a list of ethical guidelines by which to live a happy and respectable life. A Christian has a person, Jesus Christ, to whom the Christian owes everything, to whom the Christian surrenders everything, for whom the Christian lives in everything. Because of that relationship with Christ, the Christian becomes a person of deep moral commitment. That is how James writes – as a Christian of profound moral earnestness. Therefore what he writes now is not just a gathering of moralisms: "Be quick to listen and slow to speak, because it will help you get along better with people." James is writing about life in Christ. (Does this reflect your life?)

 

*He has just been telling his readers: When you face trials of various kinds, beware of the temptation to sin. It is not the suffering of the trial but the temptation to sin that is the most serious danger to you, because sin kills the sinner. Sin gives birth to death, whereas you have been given birth by the work of Christ to be delivered from sin and death. Because you have been given life in Christ, now live the righteous life that God desires.

Romans Road to salvation:  Romans 3:23; 3:10-18; 6:23; 5:8; 10:9; 10:13; 5:1; 8:1; 8:38-39; John14:23a

 

With commentary from Bible Gateway: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Jas/Righteous-Life-God-Desires

Bible Study Credits: Terri Stellrecht http://howmysaviorleadsme.blogspot.com/

Snowin' in Wisconsin

We are in the midst of a sizable Wisconsin snowstorm. The weather man is predicting 6-8 inches of snow within a twenty-four hour period. He didn't realize that we had two Christmas programs scheduled for today, or the consequences in our household of having to cancel them.

He probably didn't realize, either, when he was making his guesses, that for the past two years we have had snowstorms on the very day that these same programs had been scheduled. Or that the blowing winds and fast falling flakes would result in an avalanche of emotions for this grieving mother because, as if the holidays aren't hard enough, the last days of Trent's life seem to be relived all over again the closer we get to yet another anniversary date.

The same snowstorm, same programs, but all overshadowed by the missing of a child. I just couldn't endure going today. So I cried in the bathroom instead. And blamed the weather. The predictions told to us at the beginning of this journey are proving to be right: grief gets harder rather than easier. The second year is worse than the first. And I can only imagine that we have the rest of our lives to fight this unending battle.

My sister calls it Chinese water torture. Drip. Drip. Drip. Just like the faucet in our bathroom. Drip. Drip. Drip. It's all the little things that will drive you crazy. The old shirt that has been left in the hamper for twenty-two months. The bunk bed that the boys insisted on setting up again. Eating cheese puffs and reading a book before bed. The thought of taking pictures for Christmas cards. Or cutting a tree from the woods out back. Or buying only four pomegranates for the stockings on Christmas morning. Drip. Drip. Drip.

So I got out the Bible. And went to Ezra with the kids. The old people cried, and the young people rejoiced after building the temple foundation. I guess I'm lumped in with the old people because it seems crying is all I'm doing these days. After I cried some more, I sent everybody outside.

Sliding and snow forts brought smiles. Hot chocolate and cookies helped, too. And then Rob came home and announced that the roads were horrible. And we discussed heaven, and just how long eternity is going to be, and how good God is.

And I realized, in the end, that God had something better planned for this day. Something that couldn't be found in make-shift sanctuaries full of little boys dressed in bathrobes and tween-girls pretending their name was Mary. Nor could it be found in beautiful Christmas songs that have been rehearsed for months with good friends. It took many tears, and many snowflakes, to ultimately find Him.

 

Five Years Later

Five years later, and finally I hear the words I've longed for, "I just felt like giving you a hug." Followed by the sweetest hug I've gotten in a long time from an eight year old boy. They have been five patient years as I have been waiting for this magical time in adoption that I didn't realize wasn't already here.

I remember that after Grace came home there was something special about that anniversary date. I wasn't concerned at all about Micah prior to that hug. He is not needy or overtly affectionate, but rather a very content, happy kiddo that doesn't require much physical attention. That's why the arms encircling me, and the need for a mother's embrace, overwhelmed me. There were tears of joy stinging my eyes this time instead of tears of grief.

One of the things I look forward to in heaven is the hope that all of my children will be there. We had such a short time of enjoying five kids in our home. I imagine an eternity of having all my kids together again. Nothing exotic, just simple things: horseback rides, camping by the river, sitting at the supper table ... for eternity. No death, no tears, no goodbyes.

I have found that my focus is more and more on heaven these days. Trying to imagine it has exhausted me, so instead I find myself planning for it. Painting the girl's room and the upstairs hallway found me telling God what kind of a mansion I'd like in heaven. I laughed when I realized He would probably give me an old, run down farmhouse to fix up because I would enjoy that the most. Poor Rob~ good thing there's no marriage in heaven. I think he's had about all the old farmhouses he can handle.

A big old farmhouse, with a wrap around porch, spiral staircase, and acres and acres of privacy to raise goats, kids and horses would make me content for an eternity. All this, and no sin, no curse, no enemy to destroy. Walking there with my Savior for ever and ever and ever.

News of another teen age death struck our community yesterday. I woke up nearly sick for that mother today. How long, Oh Lord? How long until you come to reign?

The tears of grief flow as I force myself to feel the immense pain of losing a child. Words won't form for cohesive prayer, so I allow the Holy Spirit to pray them for me. I realized that I am resorting to stuffing again, thinking that not feeling the feelings as I force them to stay in their pit may help. It hasn't before, but who knows? Maybe it will work this time.

So I make myself write a blog post. Make myself vulnerable. Talk about Jesus again. Scare the enemy a little more. Like Martin Luther said, "Why give Satan a vacation?"

Bible Study~ Our Identity in Christ

Our Identity in Christ:

We desperately need to know that first of all we are sinners and will one day stand before a Holy God and give account for our lives, some of us sooner than others. Scripture is primarily meant to reveal who God is, and secondly to reveal that we as a creation are sinful and have no hope aside from Jesus' atonement on the cross. There is a great danger to focus on ourselves and primarily about living a good life here, rather than being prepared for eternity.

I challenge you to read some of the Scripture verses that God led me to, as I was in His Word studying for tonight's lesson, that talk about who we are as mankind:

We are sinners: Romans 3:23

We are dead in our sin: Ephesians 2:1

We are God's enemies: Romans 5:10

We are the ones who crucified Jesus: Luke 22:63-23:43

We would rather turn away from God than have Him: Romans 1:21-23

God said that He will not yield His glory (Isaiah 48:11), and that glory will ultimately be revealed through Jesus (Heb 1:3). If we are Christians our whole lives will be pointing to that glory, especially through the gospel message (the grace and forgiveness poured out on sinners through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross), as the Holy Spirit is working in us towards that same reason.

 

If our lives are not portrayals of Christ, as seen by our longing for Scripture, obedience to God' word, and repentance of sins, it is because we are not saved and we have God's wrath to fear on judgment day.

 

Salvation is only found in Jesus Christ and His work on the cross to forgive sinful mankind. The Good News of the Gospel is that Jesus became the only acceptable and perfect atonement to take away the just wrath of God. Our sins were nailed to the cross, on Him. We have been set free through Jesus, welcomed into the throne room of God Himself, protected by Him who should look upon us with scorn. What amazing grace that is poured out on sinners by a glorious God!